21st of December 2022,

Three days to Christmas. Again, how and where the hell has the time gone? I need to re-saddle on a few subjects now to make it. Well to make my life values better and myself to get stronger. I will give it a try. I will see if I can manage and if I can overwin my own “demons” that drag me down some in everyday life. At times Motley has always done that or at least music has now it feels changed but I convince myself that, that statement only comes from the fact that I do not deal with music as much as I used to. Not because I do not want to. Because I do. But more because I do not have the time. It is truly a different life.

There surely is a massive new type of wish list and for the maybe first time, I do not solidly have only Crue stuff for the collection on that list. I have conversations with people and the ones at my age or older all tell me the same thing. We grow and change through the years and at some point, life is looked at differently and you grow into something that slowly comes to focus on a different type of personal values. Health, being able to, and enjoying the here and now best way possible.

There are things in the world that I love to get still love to see being part of what I have done all my life – collecting.

20^thof December 2022,

Time – oh my god how fast it passes by. I looked forward a lot to this December in a week it is gone well almost. I begin to face what my parents used to tell me. “Just wait, you too will think differently as life presents certain things and you get older.” And here we are and yes, they were right. But I do not really like things that occupy my mind these days. I will have to try to fight that and find a way out. Find a way back.

The first day of returning to the site and adding and updating was last night a little bit at least. Guitar picks have been found a good few actually that was not on the site – now getting it up. I think I should appreciate the luck I have in getting all I have gotten so far – much more. I honestly think it has slipped away a little the enjoyment of this. Disappeared in all the dark thoughts and troubled minds I have carried for a long time now.

I long for feeling better again. Long for enjoying the daily living, the collection as I used to, getting back to finding myself again. Struggle a little with the fact that I have no chance at all to cover what comes. Not the touring but merchandise. 2023 will be a massive year to have eyes and ears open. There has been really great added stuff this year but the damn band is going somewhat overboard now with things. Besides the anniversary of an era that was massively popular is in 2023 too. Their second album. Yeah, surely enough to wrap my mind around.

19^thof December 2022,

It sure has been a while. So many things to do and so much to go through both in my head and at home. The collection is getting fixed. I am learning to appreciate what I have and not have too much focus on the missed stuff. More and more pops up too as items ones scanned but lost probably on a hard disk on a broken computer. Now again going through most to get it fixed for the site online. Turns out a lot of solo guitar picks were not up on there and I had truly forgotten about a good few of them.

That is only one thing. There are tons. And now, a good few things, are in the mail as I know of. So, things are to come and 2023 if still intense about this collecting will be rough. There is so much to come out and there is so much to go after if ones want. It is pretty much hopeless these days. All shows and meet n greet are over for me. It is not happening again in my lifetime.

I am so trying too to focus on my relationship and my house or our house. I really want it to be better for us. Much better for us. Also individually we deserve it. I have struggled for years now with different things and I HAVE NOT been close having been generally happy. Always stressed and sort of sad. It stops now. It has to. I NEED to find myself. I need to be able to say life is beautiful like I used to say. I am massively troubled. And it saddens me major. I do not want to have this in my life. Do not want to feel what I do.

23^rdof November 2022,

Feeling like the stuff coming out soon are again something that has been around for ages. A new box set of the first 5 albums in February. WHY!!! Yeah well, I get a bit annoyed about it. But the BMG that bought the rights wants to get their money back because of their high-priced investment. Not strange but still.

KISS makes such cool stuff from and with every album nowadays and just wish this band would do too. But it is the same shit… there is now a lunchbox out that was kind of interesting for the fact that it is so 70s and retro. The image though is again a mix-up of areas that is fucked in my book. Much to come in the coming year and a new album recorded and released their absolute last I guess. These guys have become non-trustworthy, so you never know. But that is my guess. I have finally come to peace with NOT to be going around on tour for them no more. Not sure what happened but it is really not a burden anymore.

22^ndof November 2022,

Fairly good now. The Christmas stuff has been brought out of the cellar boxes and we have this past weekend decorated most of what needs to be done. I am having a little left and trying to find new ways of things to focus on. To at least try to get a better feeling inside with all I cannot change anyway. With that said a few more Crue items are discovered and all “new” stuff has been photographed then Lisa and I will in the coming days re-obtain the work with the site. Feels good, to be honest.

14^thof November 2022,

Two rooms and a hallway are now 98% cleared and sorted from the previous “moving in” mess that has been for two years. I now also have full control of where things are. It does not suck. Really happy about it. Came to realize that including smashed basses there are about 40 guitars/basses here.

It is not crazy. It is unreal. But I do like that I have such a blast looking back on it all. There are so many memories yet some of them start to disappear, and I have lost the memories. The old diaries on the first website for the collection and the old story put together bout my life as a collector are nowadays appreciated.

8^thof November 2022,

First snow this year. Feels nice. I am and have been waiting for this time of year. Some more stuff added to the collection. My friend in the US C.H. has sent me stuff that she cleared out and got me from the summer tour.

Another thing that seems pretty nice is that all 36 posters from the summer stadium tour are now in the collection. Never thought that would happen. But here they all are. It is a strange, but yet nice thing to say is completed and not to be thought about again. Unless something happens to it. But I do not see that happening. All cardboard boxes holding posters are now no longer in the house. Storage plastic bins and safe. All good.

7^thof November 2022,

My brother was here 29^thof October till Friday the 4^thof November. We had two missions. Catching up and completely redoing my collection. Re-sort all and replace things. For the last time really get an overview of all there is… more or less. It is not easy, and I have to say a few pieces found I did not even know I had. Some things are found others lost and gone for good as expected. But boy oh boy what a great week with this. It looks better. It is better and all in all, there has NEVER while living here been more control and all of it. Not to mention not been so much floor space either. Yeah man, it has been a mess for far too long. Now, well now it is pretty much under control. Thank you, bro. And thank you Lisa for the “overtime” gift of book shelves to make this a far, far, far cooler place. This is what was needed so much and now it stands tall on the lower level holding a hell of a setup.

New added stuff too. Have had so many thoughts back flash doing this. Form my life how it all has been. The posters were on the walls and collecting shit as a kid. The shirts I wore. The cranking level on stereos daily. Those days… fuck the new song from Nickelback says it all THOSE DAYS. Yeah man, I have done a lot and been through what not many have. On the collecting side of the world. Memories would be questioned by most if shared.

27^thof October 2022,

So yesterday got to be the date. Mick Mars is out of the touring Motley Crue. No more for the rest of my life. Never ever going to see him again. Sure, feels weird. Even though I did not want to see them live again just to know he is out. It triggers something in me called a timeline.

Life … it goes by, and it goes fast. All my beloved artists are on the end of the rope. It just feels strange, and it is sad. I have my own reasons for saying this. No one gets me I said it decades ago and I still do. The inner core of me. Nobody gets it.

Well, thank you Mars for all the memories. Had been really cool had you been able to team up with somebody and start a biography book. Let YOU be the first to really tell the truth. So much fucked up BS from the others up through the years. Had been cool.

22^ndof October 2022

It has not been an unsaid comment or discussion with my better half about this fact from yesterday. Crue is on European soil next summer. I HATE having to walk on sit with a feeling of walking on glass when it comes to this. There I said it, it is out. No more on that. Just let me have this and I will be better.

I still fight within myself like hell about this being over for me. Because it is. I do not want to or aim for trying to see the band on a complete European tour or anything like that again. I would like to see me getting the merch though. So, I said “one is all but since Sweden Rock has them on. Then yes that.

Get the merchandise from the festival as well. Had been great. However, I still say I am done. But not with the collecting. I really need my girl to not piss on this so much. I really do. I must find it in myself too to say – you know what buddy (myself) you have done great you have stood and followed your heart all the way since day number one. When you were pissed or disappointed you showed it (when it comes to Crue disappointing me) or the opposite, when I felt good about things I showed and shared that too.

However, the fact 2022 stands – I AM NOT a happy Cruehead when it comes to all this continued touring and what that brings. Even though I have loved it for decades now it’s a different life. The world has changed too. I feel a forced-on change.

I love the band still but not as a live act 2022 band on a physical stage. No thank you.

This band should have packed it up and dealt with its flaws and weaknesses in 2016 in my opinion. Do new music? Sure, why not. But do not get out there and enter the stages of the world.

Myself? Well, “I” is an individual change. Mostly because I must. To survive this life that I have lived. And to find a happy place once again. But no one can be a daily reminder of things by telling me things are shit, the band is shit, and what I do and is suspected of doing is bad. That will not help me. I need to do this as a wounded human being taking things in a tempo and a way, I feel I face every day somethings as well with. If not, I will just …. Fade and get sick.

Sounds weird? Sick? Like a ton of BS? Well then, we say so. But in the end, I am the one that needs to fight this and, in the end, when the smoke clears the storm is all over and gone – I am the one that needs to have done the work and feel rather okay with it.

The band or some of them are convincing themselves they are where they want to be but hey this is not my ride no more. I know I can and will lose friends from this. Or in the long run, should I simply call them contacts? Hmm, something to speculate about perhaps. Let me just be focusing on collecting as long as the interest is there. It can disappear whenever for whatever reason. And that is a fact.

Mick Mars – is probably out of the touring version of the band from now on. My thoughts? Well in all honesty, well done Mick. Take care of yourself. Enjoy the older days in life. Hopefully, you can overcome a few more mountains that you like to climb before the ending days come to visit. You are part of what brought fond memories to this guy’s book of life. Many thanks. Now release the album get on the autobiography book before it is too late and enjoy life the best way you can.

Other comments on that thought? Yeah, one. Rap it up. Call I a day and let the legacy lie. So many other ways to still be building on that name. But what does it matter what I think? Nada – that’s all for the day. I am going to crawl into bed and see the remaining 15 minutes of this date in the calendar slip away like sand between my fingers. Good night.

21^stof October 2022

So the day arrived its out official. Motley Crue is back in Europe in 2023 June.

15^thof October 2022,

do not know if I should smile or cry. As a still ongoing collector, I am a bit in “he ha land” from discovering so many things are popping up everywhere quite often. I just saw that blewberry comics has a second edition of the Shout vinyl in red and white split too. 1250 copies are made worldwide. I know it is only one record. But these sell out fast and then on eBay and elsewhere for a lot of money.

I DO NOT COLLECT VINYL SO MUCH but is does get to me anyway, that the damn records are coming out again and again and again- had there been a serious vinyl collecting then yes it had been awesome. But that boat sailed decades ago. I never did much in that area. I know of so many that hold 100s of vinyl’s different pressings of the same 80s records. I never did that.

I have learned the hard way – so to speak – that no matter what I do I will never be able to cover everything. My brother has this year started so say “be happy about what you have, be excited about what you get” yeah well… It is not that easy for me but somewhere yeah of cause he is right. It will only tear me apart otherwise.

I have gotten to the point where I actually am fairly fine with the fact of not seeing tours and tours no more. The latest talk goes for john 5 to take over Mick Mars’s spot in the band as he is too fragile to do these tours. And from the band’s spokesperson Sixx and partly Neil they have touring plans till 2024. I do agree Mick may not make that. Not be fit for it at all. Then again why the fuck continue. It is the four or nothing.

Well, Sixx, another round of ego selfish greedy decisions to … yes, I have to say it … milk the fans. But then again as I have said about a lot of artists who is the dumber? The band or the fans? I dare say fans. Fans are so easily blinded by what artists do and just gladly continue to stuff money in their pockets. And the world is so large that even if old skool fans step down and get annoyed there are always others to carry on the flag. So, this is my own brutal battle within to find that balance NOT to continue my own life long-lived way of – life. Mcrueloyalty – a life lived – I guess.

There is constantly new stuff on the way out on the market. And there is for sure a lot to pick and choose from. OH well. No one forces anybody to do anything really. But nothing would have continued if a few fans worldwide had not chosen to continue to support what I do in different ways, a couple of Americans, a Japanese guy, an Australian, a few Europeans, and my brother.

I know I still have fun with this rediscovering my collection and new bookshelves have been picked up to do dramatic sorting in two weeks as my brother is here again. So, it shall be fun to see how we can use these shelves wisely. See if magic can be created and bring on some more floor space in a couple of rooms here. Had been nice, to be honest.

13th of October 2022, *

A rough reminder of life and how unknown it is only two nights ago. The rabbit Kajsa – calm sweet loving life had to be put down. It touched me more than it possibly should. But I think it was due to the latest trip to Denmark. Death and illness only. Not at all a vacation of any kind, it just took me on to a hard level of what I have become very emotional about.

04^thof October 2022,

A ton of news from the Crue camp. Cannot say that I am okay with it at all. I mean it is said from a purely selfish angle. I cannot pay or find the money for what is coming. And I do not want a lot of it either yet a strange and open battle with myself is making things harder than I am truly struggling with it but I still love collecting. Stuff has a weird meaning these days. For the first time in my life, I see stuff that can destroy and stress me. It is for sure not a good feeling.

I need to find that balance with the new frames for my collecting. However, I am also slowly – very slow – moving in on what I like to see as a focus on my home. To feel comfy and focus on what is nice HERE and not in the drawers and bookshelves that hold something with MC on it. No, I’m really going through a phase here. Do you wonder if this is kind of like what ordinary people call a life crisis at 40? I do not know. But it is not a nice feeling. That is for sure.

25^thof September 2022,

Okay, where to begin? Tough to say. More and more seems to be heading towards irritations and disappointments with the band. Latest news if I remember correctly is that they have tour plans till 2025 now. Fuck that. So not impressed, really not hearing many unconditionally positive remarks about what is now over. The stadium tour.

Went to see the Michael Monroe 60^thbirthday celebration shows Thursday in Helsinki, Finland. It just highlighted what I have said all the time. That stage size, light, and more gave the band and the songs new life and I enjoyed it in a whole new way I will not say anything else than he will not top it ever. The club stuff has just gotten fairly irrelevant. That one night was great. God, I miss the old Crue days but absolutely hate the recent ones.

11^thOf September 2022,

Sunday is a day of well… last doings before the daily doings are back upon us all. Yet no, it is not a complaint as such. To even have a job is a much-needed something these days to get anything in place and to have any hopes and chances for something other than covering the bills all the time. There is the right now stuff I like to get and to do. But there is not much to be qualified for calling it “having a chance”.

No, it is for sure much harder, to be sitting with the situation I am in right now than what I can or want to explain in words here. I just get a little too marked by it too often. I hate it. I feel sorry for my relationship and for Lisa to be witnessing this but also for myself that it is like this. It is rock hard to just sit and watch as it crawls up on me now and then.

The collection and all are going extremely slow on the sorting and the website. Tough to get the time and to get things done so it looks and stays neat. This is the first time I will ever have said this but somehow it will actually be nice to one day does not have to deal with all that any longer. Sucks that it gets me down so much.

Not bitter yet more like what on earth should I do now? The band is, in my head, over and I do not know how to have that other type of more normal life. I have kind of tried it now for a good few years and I do not care for it at all. It is not to my liking. I quite simply do not have any kick from it. More like never-ending boredom. That is not for any to have.

4^thOf September 2022,

I am still amazed at how little my girlfriend understands or should I say feels she needs to be on my back about my own turbulent times. She thinks I should seek help. Yeah, that is where we are at this point. Well, on my troubled mind at least. I totally disagree. Why? Because this is not that type of a crise – it is a life change to be required that I do not have the solution to yet.

All in all, she thinks it is all about Motley Crue and that the name is the “name” of my misery. But it is not. I chose to not aim for seeing them again live and travel the world for them. They are not that band anymore. My collecting is still not affected by that decision in a way that requires me to stop collecting. The reasons for me not seeing them anymore are very honest and real. Not complicated nor affecting others.

*Yet because it is strange and tough to take 90% of your old life away and not be affected by the change at all, or in a lesser painful and frustrating way. How that can be so strange to understand is beyond me. Trying to live a fairly new type of life. But it needs to still be far away from the classic family life that does not appear to me at all as something I want to have.

3^rdOf September 2022,

So the fall has arrived. A good few pieces right now are expected in the mail. Thanks to a few very good friends in my life. I am very excited about it but the risk of these damn import fees is slowly killing us all. Especially me in the situation I am in. I hate it. We will see how it all unfolds in the coming week. I have a hope for something positive and unexpected this month to knock on my door. Not only a matter of Crue speaking. I so badly need to have that. Something positive.

Anyhow there are things expected to arrive here as said. More from the USA stadium tour and more magazines, shirts, posters, books, vinyl records, etc. It is not all bad, but it is worrying how much new shit they have planned to release. The anniversary in 2023 of the 1983 album will also get a hard serious celebration. Loads of special and more than likely overpriced limited editions of various kinds. Would not be surprised if a boxset of some sort would see the light of day. Special shirts as always maybe posters.

No, it is not an easy road to ride down to be honest.

Seems like nobody are collecting everything anymore. It is financially not possible. I tried the best I could until the shit turned, and all went out of hand and skyrocketed price-wise. Try not to think about it too much is the voice of the head daily. But it is not the easiest to do. Relaxed about it or not I cannot do shit about it anyways.

This week the long-awaited and highly wanted KISS box set of Creatures Of The Night is also out but 350 dollars with shipping – I cannot do that either. How the hell will I add this one to the music collection here I do not think I ever will. Sadly. I am not collecting them anymore but that album and that box I really would like to get.

Thank God there have not been many magazines in Europe or anywhere really, about the stadium tour. I am not sure if it is because the story of it would not be of too much interest or what the deal is there. But with the magazine prices these days I am just happy that there are not many so far out there.

18^thOf August 2022,

So this is the date in the calendar that I decided to just test a thing or two in two rooms that really is the messy place of Crue stuff. Prepare and test ideas for a re-sorting of boxes and stuff for a re-organizing thing in late October. It did not fully work as I hoped for but okay then we get drawn to idea and solution two. It will be done it will be worked on. The goal is that things that are smaller stuff and stuff that can fit in vinyl-sized rooms x 50 will be sorted into these then. So larger pieces like guitars, basses, drumheads, banners, etc, etc will be in a better and easier to get to spot as well.

It shall be perfect to get things in place. I truly miss getting the full pleasure of going through it all. I cannot remember when that last was. My life in the 21^stcentury has been a shit load of traveling and collecting. Not categorizing. Sadly not, so that is why there is not too much control of the damn thing.

14^thOf August 2022,

It has again been a while since I dropped down a few lines here. There just seems to be this constant line of reasons for me not to. Not that I do not want to write here anymore. More like when do I have something to say or time to do it? Kind of.

I think the last month or two have been very giving. Several people have shared that they are following the new website and are still more than impressed. Not that it matters but rather it does something to me in the sense that I realize what I have not done in a long time is treasuring the collecting that is here. It is massive and it is somewhat out of the ordinary. I think it should make so much more sense if it was properly sorted and properly placed/ displayed. Well in, Iow where things are, and I can get to it.

I know it is much to ask with the size of it and the space required. But in a good two months my brother will be coming up here and we will sort two rooms that are nothing but chaos right now. Get things in place and see everything I still have not touched since – well forever. So that alone will for sure do something for me. And that is absolutely something that would be great to get through and then say here is this and here is that.

There has also come a huge load up here from my brother that my girl Lisa picked up on her vacation trip with her parents in southern Sweden this July. Most of the 2022 stuff is now fully covered and there are friendly souls out there as well that are sending smaller things eve and then as well. So, there is not too much that has been missed this year for sure.

The tour itself. Yes. But I do not want to go anyways. I suddenly got a mail from an old friend from 10 or 11 years back from the States that said I have a pass and some picks you can have if still into this collecting thing of yours. Thanks, bud. That is the only thing that is left of my old life, to be honest. Not touring again. Not supporting the band in that way anymore. I find it all kinds of wrong. But there will be collecting till I feel it is nothing, but a burden and my passion leaves my body. Not there, just yet.

Now there is just patience to have until we get to the end of October. Then the sorting and the bettering will take place for 5 days. Things will be and get better to a point where things are not with the same shitty chaos as it is now. No, I am truly looking forward to this and then most of the stuff will be better than it has been with the collection in more than 15 years.

Stuff that has come the last 3 months, well, everything Sixxonsixx is in hand. All from the band`s official web store is covered except maybe 2 or 3 items. Some stuff from the stadium tour is safe. Still some that is not but then you must be there at the venues or have somebody clearing it for me. Because I am not going. We will see if there is a chance to clear shit before the tour is over. Only one more month than this stadium 2022 is long gone. Thank God.

Magazines and several more awaited. Posters are rolling in. the city posters as I have called them now – every stadium show poster is going to be covered. And that too is seriously cool. CDs, vinyl, other small-time stuff. Yeah man, I should for sure not complaining. I have no chance to do much myself on stuff so this is beyond what I could ever hope for. So no matter how I feel about things right now – I need to just shut the fuck up and sit back and enjoy the harvest that has been this year so far.

24^thof June 2022,

Alright, today has been a bit of a time trip in my head. First of all, I was off today. Here in Sweden, they have this Friday called Midsummer. So I thought I should get a shit load done on an extra day off. But that did not happen. Boiling outside. Far too hot. Not for me. I am so out of it in this type of heat. There is no way I can do this. Best of all – LOL – is that they say it is going to be the same Saturday and Sunday. So, this long-awaited long weekend just got fucked up for me.

The Newbury company has a lot of color releases of different bands’ old releases and re-release them as colored vinyl. Motley is represented here. Several are out and now two more but in other than the previous colours are to see the light of day in a good week’s time. Plus a few news info on the stadium lithographs that are out for every show. They go for 75 dollars each at the shows in extremely limited edition. There is a place that holds them as a cheaper and copied version in large size 24x36. Those I will be aiming for somehow, someway. Had been so cool to get all 30. It costs but – well I need to see if there is some way to find these to be added sometime sooner or later.

Right now, a 25th-anniversary Swine album shirt is in the official store. Limited and up for pre-order. Still waiting to have things Arriving from the 2022 catalog thanks to my brother but this is actually the only item 2022 that is still then missing. The swine shirt. There are for sure other stuff to be gotten and other things that are NOT Motley I like to see be happening this year but god damn it, often things are so hard when not holding a lot of money. No need crying just a tough feeling to get all covered.

Have now also seen a good lot of the YouTube stuff that is up for the stadium tour. I am not really impressed. I am trying to look through the stage surroundings and gimmicks. And I do not think they are great anymore. I need to have a band that is willing to do what is fans demanded. I think a new really thought-through album had looked good on them for this tour. Def Leppard and Joan Jett did it. Poison I think is going to do a new. But Crue is once again just milking and counting on re-releases of a lot of old.

Even some of the stadium show merchandise as mentioned before is 1981 to 1984 reprints. They have for sure come to the age where they no longer want to have their “today” pictures on the merchandise. And there is not much willingness to give a REALLY wished, list on the shows either. BasIt’se stuff since 2005. Just much shorter. Same greatest with a couple well not going to call them BIG surprises at all. But a little different. But the ticket prices and the asked for diehards to do meet n greet and such is just okay to be asking top high prices.

Just really wish there would be fans that would be yelling out or go into not reporting them when doing these things. But I have learned it is not about that at all for other fans. They eat it all raw. And are not one bit complaining. It is of course none of my business what people think but the fact that no one stops doing certain things or yells out somehow is what allows the band to keep selling and being what they are doing in an easy and for them the comfortable way. Nothing needs to be put in an effort, but just pulling in the money from us all without much anything.

Yes, I AM STIL LA FAN and collector. But I am not even close to saying they still do good, and I am now more than happy with how things are. Not even close. And that is also why I am not even close to the one amongst others at the stadiums these days. It is my first missed tour in .. forever. But I cannot find it in me to do it. I just cannot. It is not worth the money we make.

19th of June 2022,

So, here we are, and the band has proven that it is still on. The 2022 stadium tour took off in Atlanta on the 16^th. Miami is now also over with. I am not too keen on saying much positive. Many already know what I think about this thing. Not positive or supporting it much. It was of cause tough to sit here at home and say I am not bothered about it one bit. Sure, I can easily say that. But I mostly felt it was okay. It is not the same band no more. They have gone through too much and have gotten too old to be cool any longer in my personal opinion.

I think the much talk about a setlist and a stage show that would blow everybody’s minds is massively overrated. I am not one bit sharing that thought. Vince is not an energetic individual no more as this type of band needs to have a frontman. It is just altogether sad. Mick seems to not be able anymore…. Let us just put it like that. Sure, he can still play. But be on a stage? No, he surely should not.

Sixx in my opinion sadly is trying too hard. As a whole, it just does not seem to be what I get when thinking of this band at all. Many rumors are going around about the fixed playbacks/pre-recordings and Nikki might be quite disappointed with the way Neil is delivering. But sadly, this is what happens when money talks and a band still think they are cool like earlier in their career.

The merchandise for this bombastic promoted tour – well. Back to the legendary 80s there. It is not something that is impressive at all either. They do everything they can to ignore the here-and-now version of the band. Not giving us what they sound like now for real. Not giving us pictures of the band visually on merch 2022, not really accepting the fact that they have gotten older – much older and that their own vision of the band under the name Motley Crue cannot any longer carry that flag. And that is what I mean by saying, they are heading into becoming their own best tribute band.

And it just saddens me very much.

On a happier note. Then I can say there are lots of new Crue coming to the collection and the site is out through summer and fall. There are also reinvented some ideas in a new 2022 way from the old website ofwww.Mcrueloyalty.dkit looks cool. And some old memories are rediscovered. Nice.

I think there will be a good chance to come by some of the stuff from the tour.

Three people are going to try to help out. None of them can buy it all but a couple of items here and there could be sweet.

A little something had a tease on me last night too. KISS the band, is now in Stockholm just done Denmark for the last time ever and it is another dot in the books of lifelong love and admiration that is coming to an end and I am not taking part in it at all. I am not there to witness any of it. It is a bit tough.

Sometimes I wish I did not have these thoughts and related emotions for things in music. But I cannot help it. It is there and it is so – therefore it knocks on my brain every once in a while, and reminds me of how life has taken another bite and made my existence of me a decade shorter. Just not a fun thing, that’s all.

15^thof June 2022,

According to a family relative, all Sixxonsixx is now completely covered except the bundle with a signed bass guitar from earlier. I decided not to do anything about it as it is ONLY a signature. Have it plenty and not paying a thousand bucks for it anyways. All covered. My first early birthday gift came yesterday mid-evening. The latest vinyl bootleg in 5 colors incl. a so-called test press version. Live Basel 1991.

Lisa and I started a section transfer from the old Mcrueloyalty site to the new one and gave it an uplifting refreshment. It looks far cooler now. A few things on there are now grabbed and kept for the new one. A few sections on the collections are still missing but they will take a good long time to be added simply because they are to be gone through again and new pictures are to be taken of it all. This time it simply has to be far more equal and more “the same” than being all over the place and looking like yesterday’s leftovers.

No, it has to be great now and it has to be easy and nice to look at.

So a new main menu section got added last night and the Crue Locations section is now something that is about to be completed. Feels good. Feels nice. Up next will be a try-out to save all the old diaries and continue there. Plus do something on the book. A section with outtakes from the book and detail on how to have a chance to get it.

5th of June 2022,

Alec John Such the original bass player of Bon Jovi dead. 70 years old. That was a double shock. 70? What already? Gone? Dead. I am a little shocked. Very much because it reminds me of another lost something from my younger years when it was damn important to me all these bands when they started. And later now a days a constant reminder of how fast life and time have passed and that we are all going down fast.

It is simply something I the last good three or four years have been unable to let go of in my head. I hate it. I have such a hard time not really getting to the point where I am free from suffocating thoughts and reminders. I have become a soft and quiet weak individual. And I do not particularly like It much. How sad. Bon Jovi with or without Alec is dead anyways.

This week has been the week of a few other things and information about things to come. Added to the collection. There is a Japan Sammy Hagar CD set with a Vince show 2019, a vinyl set, magazines, shirts, and other stuff. There for sure are things to be added – a lot is by my brother in Roskilde, Denmark, and Lisa and her family will meet up with him in Malmoe on July 12^thto exchange things so also he gets his Crashdiet. Lisa has bought herself too, two Michael Monroe tickets for this year. Festival Sweden in late July and his 60^thbirthday show in Helsinki in September.

Motley Crue so and so confirmed to tour Europe 2023 with Leppard. Uncool but I may hit it up for one show only.

25^thof May 2022,

Awful feeling. I am in a situation where I have no money whatsoever till in 7 no 8 weeks from now and then… still not. Lisa turned 35 on the 20^thand I so wanted to give her a good great day. But there was no chance on earth that, that could happen. Sorry baby. Sometime later we try to get this fixed and get around to doing something good.

This month has been a first at a job I had a little over a year ago. It feels good yet horrible.

One more week and the training so to speak is over and it is back in production as they say. Scared. But we will see.

On a Motley note, this month has been rough but also given me some stuff not at all in any way expected. Now a really old and good friend from Japan is supporting my collecting life and holds a new thing he would send me in June. Well, from what I understood. Some DVDs, CDs, a part of a Japan tour 2005 smashed bass and some other smaller stuff.

Also, the guitar pedal from the official store 2019 seems to be added anytime soon. Had signed that one off a few years back already, to be honest. My friend in CZ also holds a few magazines for me so things are added all the time. Not overwhelmingly much but still. Motley store has just announced GGG 35^thanniversary cap and shirts. Covered.

Now a new one is out for pre-order as I type this, but it is not done anything with – not yet anyways. Have to be really careful. Three weeks till the stadium tour kicks off. The funny thing is I do not feel for being there at all. Not one bit. It can soon change – but you know what I really do not think so. And that feels good.

10^thof May 2022,

New job. The first day was yesterday. Same thoughts. Same kind of stress. SAS. This week I have to get and understand the program of Ediss or I am fucked here again. I simply have to get it sorted and get it in place in my head. I have chosen not to give it too much attention this time. I CAN NOT do that. It eats me alive. Must succeed. As a result, 2 RZ Japanese CD bootlegs were ordered. A 4 disc set from 2011 live Japan. And a 2 disc set from USA 1999. I have sort of begun to hate grabbing these releases as they are often bad. Just collectible. But I needed to get my head around something else now this job has begun.

There are books coming in regularly these weeks. Various kinds of Sixx books from different countries. Really just kind of stupid but that is what collectors do. The summer tour of America is just a month away and I am a little bit frightened about the tour merch now that I am not going to be there. It is hell to look into the fact of me not doing this. I really do not want to go or be part of it but not being able to get the 2022 stadium merch is really just too hard. As a collector, I am truly tested this time. A lot of unknown thoughts and feelings in this collecting world are coming over me.

Lisa and I have been working on the site every now and then and added stuff from the old site, so it is soon better and complete. Well, complete in some sections. It is such a never-ending thing this one. I am not yet done with my passion for this band. But I am wishing every now and then, that I was over with it. It would just make most others easier.

3rd of May 2022,

Last Friday the 29^thanother green light got switched on. A new job from the 9^th. The old SAS. Scandinavian Airlines – I am back on that with whatever daily 08 – 17.00 Monday through to Friday.

And that is going to be going on till the last day of September. So hopefully a good 20.000 can be killed and lowered on my still existing Danish bank loan.

On a more Motley note, well several things are coming to the address in the coming weeks of May. Shall be fun to add that.

April 8^th,2022,

…and that date turned into April 27^th. I simply still have a hard time getting around to putting things down as a diary posting. More stuff has this month been sorted and dealt with.

Here came a long break and now it’s the 29^th. I know how it all looks and sounds. Am I not really into these writings anymore? I am – but I just feel like the things I want to say are so messed up and the harder parts are kind of making me messed up and unable to focus as much as I like to.

Right now, I am trying to find a way to be a-okay with not going to see the band anymore. I know it will be hard as fuck when it actually is possible. And then to see and hear all about it from others. It simply just tells me that I am not there yet. There, where I am completely cured of a need and envy of being part of the live things. But the other side of me – as said – really does not want to do that anymore. It is just altogether wrong. Just need to find the balance to come out on the other side and feel good all the way through with this decision. It is a first in my 55 years long existence.

I have gone through some other piles and boxes the last couple of weeks, and I found a few things I had sort of forgotten about or felt sure I did not have anymore. And that obviously feels nice. So, things are falling into place pile for a pile. Nice feeling.

March 12^th, 2022,

Another 10 weeks since the last time I sat and dropped my thoughts and experiences to paper.

I have been having a short time of 8 weeks working again on a short-term project. As in a job. But it is over now and during that time a lot of stuff has actually come to be added to the collection. It has been somewhat mind-blowing, how much help a few people have been giving me. Just sending things my way. But it has kept a good few dark thoughts, away for me and the appreciation towards them is huge.

This collection is surely a collection even I am having a lot of respect for. It should not be possible to have this when living a so-called regular life.

If only looking at the Motley stuff, it has actually been an extremely good start of the new 2022. Posters, magazines, shirts, books, records, amongst other things, are safely added to the collection.

On a more personal level, I find myself being extremely occupied with thoughts about what to do and how to do a continued living where I feel better. Actually, feeling much better. I am trying so hard to figure out how to find what gives me balance and calm feelings. Cause it is not there. My own guess is that the answer lies in the past. Or more specifically in the way, I used to live my life. It was so intense at the concert, the music, the collecting, and the traveling for and around the music/concerts.

It really feels like, since I do not have that anymore it is hard as hell to find what to me, as a single individual, is what can be considered the reason for a newfound balance. I mean I do not know much else. And not much else gives me that same feeling and joy. So, it is a test. It is a tough detail I need to find an answer to. Just sitting home and doing family stuff and watching TV, simply does not seem to be the answer for me. Maybe later on but not now. I need that extra little something that I do not know what is right now.

I have also a lot of thoughts and ideas about the stuff I want to do and have done with the collection here, but it all goes hand in hand with the one word – cash. Ever since 2021, March it has been a non-existing thing for me. Unemployed and the social welfare income give no room for those ideas and hopes to come true. I need this settled and I need to have these small so-called projects going or I get bad.

What it all comes down to besides the fact, that I do not have the money for it all anymore, is that I do not want to travel for the Crue anymore. Not like I did. I think this is something I have a really hard time explaining to others. Hell even to myself sometimes. The reason for this is that I do not think they are able to give me what I would want from them being 60 plus and then still play the 80s stuff with a convincing and cool outcome. I can not be won over. Thank God, I am honest about it.

Motley Crue live in concert at the age of 60plus all of them. And then do Ten Seconds To Love, Red Hot, Too Fast For Love, Girls, Girls, Girls, and so many others… no. Vince is nowhere near the frontman I long for anymore. And hey I am not putting them down just because they are now so much older. I am saying this because I do not believe the present time can give me that cool feeling of being in the audience any longer. I would live of short movies in my heart remembering the times when it was cool. When they ruled as a live act. And I hate that thought.

With that said my acceptance to the coming 2022 stadium tour is complicated. I am a collector. Yeah, I am still that. And that means trying to get and collect all I can but not attending the shows gives me some demons to be handled as well. I can not find the right words for this to be explained. And this, on a parallel path to the search for the new whatever that is, that shall give me a newfound life pleasure.

I have Lisa and we have the house and those are great things. BUT!!! It also makes it a part of what complicates things further since I need to be in dialogue with my chosen one about things in my life but this is not possible. She simply does not get it at all. And I understand that. I yet have to meet one on a daily basis that truly gets me. Not necessarily agree with me – but at least understand me.