Chapter 4. Life after death

1995 was a weird year for me. It was a time when disappointment after disappointment just came crashing down on me. I was still trying to recover from the hardships of the last few years. I sit here now and think that people must go like, “Why don’t you just drop your hobby and go for a more secure, safe life?” To them I only have this to say. First of all, it’s not a “hobby”. Second, the answer to that question is still the same as it has always been. I have to follow my heart. Neither do I want to nor am able to be or live like “everyone” else. I have seen too many live a life they’re not happy with. They dropped a lot of dreams for family life, house, work… and that’s just not me. 


At this point in my life, I had seen yet another relationship and shared home go down the drain, and that made me fall back into depression, and not only that, my body was giving up on me. I was just feeling bad, and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell apart, literally. On my bathroom floor. I remember hearing my ex-girlfriend’s voice in the living room, talking to her mom on the phone. I could also hear a voice far, far away… my dad had stopped by. He was out on a bicycle ride, and came by my place just by coincidence. He later told me he found me on the floor and called 911. The paramedics came, and after not finding a pulse, they kick-started my heart (no pun intended) with a defibrillator. The next thing I remember is the room at the local hospital in Grenaa, where I lived. I was extremely tired for the next few days. I didn’t know what had happened. I was later told that my dad had called my mom from the hospital, saying “Tommy is dead,” so it must have been really bad. I haven’t had any such problems since, but I know I have got to be careful. 


With that being said, did I change my life and ways after this? No! I kept going. My doings in regards to Motley Crue have only escalated since. I was in need of something that gave me joy; to go after my goals in life, whether that meant a short and full life, or a long and in my opinion, boring life. What would you choose?


Of course, though, it was a rude awakening. I started thinking about what, why, when and how I did things. I went to a therapist that didn’t do me any good. So I quit and said to myself that I can do better on my own, with better results, and for free. So I did. I dedicated the next five years to self-therapy. I can safely say today that I’m a thinker, I’m a dreamer, and I’m a DOER, but under new rules set by myself. 1997 was a big wakeup call for me. KISS had just started their reunion tour that was the best one ever. I saw so many shows. Motley Crue were also back, with a new album and with Vince Neil back on vocals… but little did I know, trouble was still brewing in paradise… 


They had not been on European soil since 1991, and now they came to Denmark for one show only. Roskilde Festival 1997. The big, orange stage, which was huge. The 1997 album was pretty

They had not been on European soil since 1991, and now they came to Denmark for one show only. Roskilde Festival 1997. The big, orange stage, which was huge. The 1997 album was pretty much like the 1994 one to me. I could not figure out where they wanted to go with it, or what had happened to the four Hollywood hellraisers I loved. It took a good year and a half to swallow that bitter little pill for me. 

3. Life After Death