29th of December 2023,

Every now and a day I forget I am growing older. I forget it every now and then because I do not use mirrors.

I do not Always follow time and realize that I am up against the non-avoidable. At time it hits me and quite hard. And then I emotionally lose it. I get all rolled up inside and feel a bit left behind in time. Not knowing what to do or how to catch up with time and feel I am onboard again. You see it is a tiny little thing that really should not take up more of my attention that a few seconds in discust after breaking a fart. But it will pass. And fast. Be gone and never thought of again. Only THIS little thing keeps haunting me. My 50s have been a devilish test within myself. It stuck with me.

Should I describe about the same feeling but with my life long interest, then I would say paralel to the above time stressful feeling Motley Crue is that paralel.

Ones my love and passion and emotion of non-comparence. Hows that? It used to be holy ground for me. It used to be my blood. My absolut lifeline. Now a days you can in a certain way say it is - correction - it has gone from being a religious something to my inner solid downfall. In a type of dissapointments, discovered nassisistic behavour and lies. Fake shit, and a mountain of details that in all just stripped the magic and admiration away in a heartbeat.

That is also why there have been so much doubt to one thing. Should I rap it up and call it quits? It has been turbulent years since 2018 for sure. I kept going but eliminated some stuff I build my working part of life around. Touring. Travelling. Have completely skipped that these days. Only found new fasination eound other details of the band. The lack of cool. The constant winning over old and new fans. This just tells me how ignorent, naive and small minded people really are.

Now we are getting wso damn close to yet another waiving. A waving goodbye to yet another year of our lives that will never ever return or being an option of reliving it. It is done it came it gave, it took and it left us. Hopefully something has been learned from it. I dare say yes.

For the first time in many years I have three solid goals in the planning books for 2024. And I intend to not let myself down one bit. All that is Motley is going to come in second. This coming year is just going to have to be like that. It will bring me a brighter balance. Enjoyment to life. More loosen feelings. Better health. And so much more.

It has been years and years since I put myself first like this actually.

Now is the time. Now is the time to change things around. at least a bit. I have seen Crue 167 times now. I predict i will see them totally between that number and 170. But only going to cvollect the merchandise unless I before then will simply give in and end the collecting life I have had since my childhood. I doubt it but with how things are and have been going the recent years I am not going to say for sure yes or no.

But the band and its members are just so far away from what I loved in the past. And its all now build on greed, lies, ego, and fake shit. God damn it - CRAP!!!

26^thof December 2023

I am thinking a lot about the collecting and the way things are going with time, work, me and life in general.

I hate to say it but there are so many things in the movie of emotions if my life was such. A movie. It would be turbulent at times.

It would be tested in so many ways with so many ups and downs.

I turn 58 in the new year. And I have never ever had such an emotional ride as in the last decade.

God knows the hardest kick to the guts has come from life. No one kicks harder. But then again it is not really a question of how hard it kicks, is it? I think it is more about how much can you as an individual take before you stop getting back up on your feet? I do think there are things no matter how we live and what each our books of life holds as we gets older like in the 50s and up you start seeing things in different ways either a lot or in certain details with many different things.

I normally say the decade of 30 to 40 is the most exciting. I add to that, that it is up till roound 40 you learn about life then after that you slowly begin to see and feel life in the raw. You are doomed to handle your battles. You start experience things differently. Your parents generation or grand parents begins to drop off the face of the earth. Loses begins to knock on your doors more regularly. You begin to feel forced to look at a lot of things differently or else they hunt you down and sooner or later you will break. That has surely been my experience and I do not like it one bit.

This might also be part of why I am still collecting and not just rapping it all up and giving the band a middle finger and leave.

How they operate and how the truth is being taking in spoonful after spoonful... it is an interesting twist and it sure does not give me much chance to TRULY explain why I carry on. I absolutely think a lot of this sucks major these days.

To be absolutely honest as a long time collector or not, I truly wish someone one day will be able to do something about "the man" in the band and his twisted ways and lies. And see the other guys wake up some and become able to just shut him off. Sadly I do not see these things happen as "he" is the one that pulls all the strings and what ever he says in the band is law. Wonder if I had strated my journey had I experienced this two or three decades ago? What the hell can I possibly say?

It has been a cool and fun ride. It is more this thing with me these days where I can not any longer support everything they do - like touring - going around to see them - it blows major.I would not want to be a part of it. That part which is a huge part ended new years ve 2015.

And I now dare say the apple truly is poisoned. Is that negative to say? I know it has a negative punchline to it but I - I am not being negative. I have a band to back to take credit for that word. They charge so much and they are pulling John 5 into backing up the lies and denials. It just both facinates and pisses me off.

25^thof December 2023

Christmas day. Who would have known. In spite of a very alternative Christmas I actually had a great day.

The Christmas itself with a full day working was an okay thing to do. It was fairly calm and everone were kind and in good spirit.

After work there were a lot of emotional things going on inside of me. Missing people and remembering older days and certain individuals.

I have become extremely emotional the later years.

Round 7pm my girl came home after having spent tsome hours with her family cellebrating since I was working anyways.

We fixed a few practical issues and then I had my Christmas evening. Lisa being really in a good mood and together we shared some TV time some talk and the presents.

Really cool that I did good on the gifts. And she felt like they all did good. A last minute thing just to get us into something to look forward to. An evening with Francis Rossi in November 2024 with a night at a hotel.

That will be a great weekend to come in ten months time.

On a Crue matter - I as Christmas gifts got various Crue stuff from my brother (as always) and a Crue / Nikki related album. The 4 LP box set of Dolly parton`s latest album "Rockstar".

Yeah it was a great suprise. Wau nice boxset. Totally something never ever to be expected to be in the Crue collection as an item. But this one is. Nine orignals and 21 covers. Now that is a collection like few others. And from a country singer of 77 years old. Other presents this year had nothign to do with Crue at all. And that is really all together fine. The sections of aql lI have from 2021 2022 and this year 2023 was never ever expected to be seen as successful gainings. yeah the collection has really grown into something over the top.

Also just found out that there is a thing from a certain member that threatend me with all kinds of things cause of something gotten many years ago and now perhaps dont even have anymore.

This just proves all I have been hearing and all I have seen documents of the last couple of years. There are really things even after 40 years, that person is still to this day unable to get rid of within himself.

Respect dies a little bit all the time piece by piece. I am completely in a different boat now with many things about the band. It is like the old view on this band - for me - has been an admiration from an unknown awareness about the truth. What an interesting awakening.

This is a guy that is in his hype being all good, kind and making people and fans beliving they are the world to him and the band untill he finds himself in a situation where he himself is not too comftable and he will go overboard and treat you like a dog or give you a threatening reminder of his self claimed power. The fans give him the life he has, making that possible and he treasures it till things do not go his way. Then the dark side comes out to play. What a dirt bag.'

The site here is about to be completed (so far) on several sections now. Posters are next. Then 7" singles to be brought up to date.

I am so thrilled all is now going to be in and and the same place for the first time ever. It has been needed. There are things coming this week in the mail as well. I know there are things that truly are still wanted. But I also know some are fairly sorted for and at the higher price end and I still after all these years do not have them. I wonder if 2024 could be that year. But I have sat three goals for myself next year and those goals are not to be ignored or fucked up. Under no cercumstances. So we will see.

The love and passion for the collecting now a days and how this is looked at as said a few times before, are with a new angle and there is no way I will ever see it with the same eyes as some years ago. These guys in this band, secrets or not, really ahve showed their true faces and samples and documents as said are out and about with proves that to me just has not done anything else but confirming what I did not want to be real in any way or form. You can say santa just stripped and what I see now is a familiar guy that just completely killed the magic. And there is no way he can ever again make that magic feeling be brought back for at least me. How fucking sad after such a dedicated life from my side.

To all my friends still around or buried six feet under - Merry Christmas.

Happy holidays. I miss more time with you all. I really do. So wanted to have that chance ......

18th of December2023,

Tons of things are happening. With the band and here at the house.

I am in so much activity with the site here at home now that things got sorted again a few weeks back. Vinyl and posters the two main sections was gone through in detial ones again. Now I have doe this so much, so many tiems I must have done the entire collection like seven to ten tiems totally since the old webside was born. Due to the fact the collection is absolutely massive this does take forever every single time. Now this HAS TO BE the last time I do this at least for the site.

The electronic world has been a living hell part for me. Tons of things scanened, photographed, several times and gone lost. Computers, harddiscs and more have died.

So the 1000s of items that were at one time pictures have been unpacked and rephotographed and scanned a few times over so now this is the last time. I can not find the energy or willingness to do it again any longer. Hopefully this time it will sticks to where it should be.

A lot of crazy stuff this year ahs come to the collection but also a lot of touring and a lot of released items. Let me specify that remark. I HAVE NOT been touring a lot the band has. Next year will be no different another massive tour and stadium in the USA plus new album cause Sixx is pissed with Mars and the battle there Mars can not win. He is not a song writer. He is not a song writer as such and he will never create a hit or what can be like a signature song to his name after Crue. He is just not that kind of matrial. Sadly. I think the waiting for a Mick album has been for so long that the excitement kind of kills the result. I do not know we will simply have to see.

Then there is the coming book there children book next andthen Sixx and his cartoonish coming soundtrack to a film.

Then I do not know Vince have said he would release a new album but I dont know how unless they stuff 100s of thousands of dollars into special Technologies to make it sound like he can sing. Cause he cannot any more. It is quiet simply horrible.

We will see how it all unfolds. I am going to try to see if I can get myself to Denmark in March if going on the Monroe tour of Sweden with Lisa. Then crossing the waters go to Denmark and pick up a bass and some other stuff by my brothers place. All a little unsure and a little scary to see myself in 2024. Job and economy and stress is right this moment extremely unpredictable. I just want to really go at it all but there is a risk again for being unemplyed. And that surely stresses the hell out of me as it is.

Many new added vinyls, shirts, picks and posters added to the site.

I so predicted the collection to be on a stop since 2020. But there have been people around me that has "supported" me and the collection a fairly great deal. I am beyond words for the support and the stuff that has come my way the last couple of years.

The site does now have a quite large section - in all sections I should say. It begins to cost a bit to have this site. Due to its size. It begins to be hell as well everytime we have older stuff to get mixed into what is already there. No it is for sure a task to do this right. Not to mention getting the stuff organized in the house. It is solidly crazy to even think 25 percent can be displayed. We do not own that sort of space. Not a chance. Which in its own self is a bit of a shame. Because that simpel means that the most of it has to be kept stored away no matter how I see or feel about it.

But yes there are a lot in the making. Year of the devil is soon ending then its 35 years since Dr. Feelgood. Hell even 20 years since New Tattoo.

Yeah, it is a fast running scarry thing that "time". What seems to bnever get to be old is Nikki Sixx and his shared BS. Wau how that saddens me. Constantly on somebodys ass about something. This nassisist just can not stand he cannot win. Cannot get. Cannot have the last word. What he had is his. What he has is his. What he says is the law. He is so full of it and quiet honestly refuses to change or give in and give credit where due. That is something that dissapoints me major.

12^thof December 2023 ‘

Birthday for some. Regular working day for others.This band after all these years is now a rock solid memory in my mind, heart and skin. They are not to survive I guess till its 50th like the birthday boy would like. How they are now, just thinking that they should nail it for another 6 to 7 years?Nah, I do not see that coming. A couple of them a big no no for sure. It is and has already been a fairly sad story for years, why go all the way to not only being an embarishment, but passing that point and still claim what they claim? There is absolutely no respect left from them to the fans - I do not think.

The anniversary day of the tragic Neil, Razzle was up the other day as well. It is just something that it still a bitter pill to many. I decided not to post anything about it that day.

I feel it is a point in the history books that should be left alone at this time. I could point out several other dates inthe Crue history books that should just be left alone and I am

personally going to do so. I was about to say I am solidly looking forward. But that I am not either cause I in my heart do not have or see a future for the bandthat holds dignaty.

I understand they are physically there and another 2024 / 25 thing is in the making but no. There is absolutely not a thing - live wise - that I can say is okay no more.

I wish things would be different but they are not. On the other hand my view on them goes pretty much hand in hand with my reality in my private life. There is not much hope for things and doings I still have on my to do list. So I try to focus on what is possible for the year 2024. And there are hopes for a thing that will give me a far better frame for the future if only I stick to it.

The site and the collection on what I do - is being updated these days. Lots of thigns are being added and that is also a thing I really feel good about. I must say there are tons of things that even I have

forgotten about as went through things when my brother was here. It is really amazing to be honest. But in time it shall be good and completed.

2^ndof December 2023

So here we are another posting about milestones in my life. A kind of secondary one but with a lot of thoughts towards it today.

KISS is holding their last ever concertof the last tour in Madison Square Garden New York. I dont know exactly what to say - short films of my own lived life has been spinning through my head all day. Again just one of them days and details to my life that I do nto think I can really share with other people. Ordinary people. So I do what I do best and sadly have been forced to do most of my life. I do not share and I do not talk much about it. No on gives a shit and even les could care about what moves me and why.

KISS since fallof 1976 has palyed a massive role in my life. 1983 they took a turning point that was the reason for me taking in and taking on Motley Crue. Had they not done that I would more than likely never have cared much about the Crue. Honest to god.

Anyhow, it has been a really special road to travel down at when it comes to KISS. I do strongly believe it is a band you either love or hate. For me it was deep. I collected them ones and held shit loads of goodies then it stopped. I gave it another chance and then it turned dissapointing in a way I could not turn my back towards.

New years eve Vancouver their millenium concert 1999, Canada. I went and fuck me I was strangely dissapointed. It was KISS and it was not supose to be anything near a shitty experience. KISS is known for over the top cellebrations when its special. Not this night. Just warm empty air in that balloon I think. So that is when it stopped for me on a huge collective level.

KISS and Gene Simmons gave me so much even though I stopped collecting and it was hard. As a collector by heart I have to say they put out stuff that I just really thought were cool to just have. I never bought these items and trust me it was hard. It was a fight within myself to say YOU STOPPED DOING THIS. Back off. So I stayed focused on the Crue. Good heavens. Cause that was a mouthful in itself trust me.

Albums like my personal favorites,I thank you KISSfor all the damn awesome memories. The road has been a one of a kind. There is no - love it ot hate it - no one out there like them.

I truly feel a bit out of words. Lucky all of you that saw the last one. Damn what a night. Emotional as hell. No question that New York today is solid KISSin time.

9^thof November 2023,

I do not know if I should laugh or cry. There are so many things in this band that has come to surface here is a continued something from last year, MÖTLEY CRÜE’s bassist, Nikki Sixx, is reported to have issued an ultimatum to the band’s lead singer, Vince Neil, in which he demanded that Neil loses “fifty pounds” before their scheduled 2024 U.S. live tour, or he will be replaced. This ultimatum was apparently first issued two years ago.

Vince Neil had initially attempted to get in shape for last year’s “The Stadium Tour” by trying out a new toning machine, but he reportedly gained weight again during the tour. Mick Mars, the ousted CRÜE guitarist, expressed his dissatisfaction, labeling the tour as the worst 36 shows he had ever played with the band. He also claimed that the band was using backing tracks for main instrumentation and vocals during the tour, a claim that Nikki Sixx denies.

One of Mars’s main complaints is that Vince Neil’s size increased during the tour, leading to a decline in his performance. Neil reportedly relied on a teleprompter to remember lyrics and was forced to lip-sync most of the concerts due to voice issues caused by excessive drinking. Neil’s shaky concert appearances have included one where he was visibly drunk at Sammy Hagar’s birthday party and another in Japan where the band was caught using backing tracks.

In an effort to get in shape, the “Live Wire” singer attempted using Emsculpt Neo, a treatment claimed to build muscle and reduce fat through radio frequency and high-intensity electromagnetic energies. He even shared a video of himself using the treatment on his Instagram in September 2021. The upcoming 2024 tour seems to have prompted another push for Vince Neil to get in shape.

There is a dissatisfaction with Neil I know this but the way they are forced to keep him is just obvious. The Crue fans are not about quality in so many ways. They just want the original four really but especially that voice. It is what is thought of when thinking Motley Crue. It is that simple. I think it is just sad all the way through and you can either like it or stay from it.

On another matter The year 2023 has offered us to get hands on this year’s Halloween shirts and now the netted Christmas shirt. Seems like all this year is in the name of the Shout album really. Well, it is a season thing but a fun collectible to get a hold in one’s collection. Hopefully I somehow can manage to get it. A few other items have visited the mailbox this week. So, it is all great fun. Now one week away too from my brother coming for a visit.

4^thof November 2023

Wau not much to be joyful about. Snow melting cold and very watery. Hope and long for the best of it when it comes to snow in December, I cannot predict what the hell is going to come down from above. Anything can happen. Anything can be. Love winter though.

This year is not going to be my Christmas at all. Working on Christmas evening – bollocks. Just crap. But hey maybe some Christmas dinner out one of the other days somewhere then instead? I absolutely love Christmas dinners. I have to be a bit more aware of the low activity I do these days set up against what I eat. I have never in my life been this out of shape and so overweight, never. I HATE IT.

Some Crue stuff has been taken care of today scanned and ready for the evening work on the webpage. But after a fairly crucial hockey game for our home team. Before a winter break till the 16^th. We have got to win this one.

I need to have some things done for myself and then I must look at the possibility of another job. I really like working from home but this work here I have is something absolutely not me. I cannot believe a job means so much. Both good and bad depending on what it is and whom we are talking about. Thank God for next week. The 3 different 2LP sets should come from my friend in Italy. Should be Tuesday. Should be interesting in its own self, I guess.

My Japanese guy mailed me today he has gotten one item from the tour. Working on other stuff as well but whatever the one item is, it is in hand and safe. He is so very appreciated I tell you. The Japan lithograph VIP poster even says Japan on it as well. The VIP ticket laminate pass is pretty cool I have to say. Had been really cool to get my hands on that at some point.

Now for a couple of hours site work. Later all ***

3^rdof November 2023,

Yokohama, Kanagawa - Japan tonight and already my friend there might have a chance to get his hands on some things from tonight’s show. Had been great if possible. We will see I am sure he will let me know soon enough. Surely a wished-for thing. It is without a doubt weird for me to sit and go I STILL DO NOT want to go fly out to see them anywhere again like touring several shows several places. Just want to the chance if there comes any to get the merchandise nothing but.

They played tonight for 90 minutes.

Yeah, that is all, not going to say it must be disappointing, but I will – it must be.

Anyhow hope my friend of Japan will succeed in getting something.

Also today launched MC Crüeseum. I call it the new 2023 generation SIN Club free of charge membership but with coming exclusive line of things including an exclusive store with exclusive limited stuff of cause. It is a dollar sign version of an old passion.

Obviously, a bit curious about what it is and what it will offer. Sure I am. Not going to lie. We will see. No doubt – time will tell. Now let me go sleep on it a bit. Really like to put some more thoughts down here but I am somewhat tired and for sure need some sleep. No alarm clock in the morning either.

1^stof November 2023,

So, we are here now. November, and I personally love it. I personally really want this time of year. I have a lot to do on the Crue collection. A lot of things to get through in a couple of weeks. My brother is coming for a visit for 5 days and that shall also be great. I often spend time in my head going back to past years and memories.

I still think life is far too short and that life truly does not hold the opportunities I dream of. Choices are to be made but you have to choose and focus on just a couple. In a larger picture that is partly what I also stress about. Cause my dreams are so many. What the hell should I choose then? What? I turned my mind upside down the other day and tried to say I need and more or less want to do a few refreshments on and in the house. I think if I still am working after January my old loan and that is going to be primary for the first 8 months of 2024.

The anniversary of the shout at the devil album has this year been fairly huge. There surely has been a lot to gain and there has been a lot to take in. I still stand though with my decision on the 2024 tour. If coming at all then one show to get the merchandise but nothing else. I now know for sure my own suspicion and lots of the talks from this 2022 and 2023 have been true. No matter what the band says. It is a lot of pre-recorded. Neil does not sing more than 25%. Modern day technology is of use to make it have that really strange kind of not live sound. No, it is for sure not worth the money any more I do not think.

So, my last touring surely was 2015. I have had so much time now to take that in, so I am fairly okay with it now. There is not going to be any change to that detail ever again. The shout 40^thanniversary box is a box of toys really, but I do think it is a great boxset. It is not anyone’s fault that there musically is not any news in it for me. I have had all the included unreleased songs for years and years.

Soon to come is a package of the double live album latest bootleg holding the SECRET yet sold-out Dogs Of War show in London England from July 1^stthis year and the NFL live performance. It turned out there are three different colored splatter vinyl sets plus a regular black test promo set and all are coming. Maybe next week.

31^stof October 2023,

Man – things are turning and spinning in all directions here.

so many details and so much media. So much going on. Let me see where to begin? The shout anniversary of the record is cleared. It is now safe and awaited if not here already it seems. There is a new Czech Republic new all Crue magazine out that a friend of mine has gotten for me. There are stuff in the

MÖTLEY CRÜEguitaristMick Marshas released the lead single from his solo debut titled"The Other Side Of Mars". To official music video for"Loyal To The Lie"can be seen below.

"The Other Side Of Mars"will be released on February 23, 2024. A pre-order is now live in the new merch storefront launched atshop.mickmarsofficial.com. Available configurations include a 180g LP and CD, signed and unsigned."The Other Side Of Mars"will be released viaMick's own label1313, LLC, in partnership withMRI.

Mars says about"Loyal To The Lie": "I wanted to do something that was just big and mean." But no matter what direction he's going in on"The Other Side Of Mars", what ties it all together is "that people are going to hear my tone — my sound,"Marssays. "I am what I am. Nobody else can do it. And like everyone, I've got a limited number of years. So, I'm gonna do all I can to do a lot of stuff."

When Mars stepped back from touring withMÖTLEY CRÜE— the band he co-founded more than 40 years ago — following their massive summer 2022"The Stadium Tour", it seemed like the end of an era. Really, it was the beginning of a new one.

The legendary guitarist, whose riffs, solos and overall devastatingly heavy sound powered the L.A. icons through four decades of world-conquering, multi-platinum sonic mayhem is, as he demonstrates on his debut solo effort, still a serious force to be reckoned with. Only now, listeners are reckoning with more Mars than ever before. "When it comes to my playing, there's theMÖTLEYside and the Mars side," the guitarist says. "Either way, I always have a very clear vision of what I want to do."

On the aptly titled"The Other Side of Mars", fans get that vision in its full, multifarious glory. To be sure, there are plenty of characteristically riff-tastic, tough-as-nails hard-rock anthems.

The album also presents the guitarist heading into new and uncharted territory, tearing through caustic, modern metal, conjuring gothic-tinged soundscapes, and digging into anguished, slow-burning power balladry alongside unspooling bluesy, cinematic instrumental workouts. The music throughout the collection is otherwise studded with slide guitars, violins, violas, keyboards, glitchy freak-outs and all manner of sonic surprises.

"There's a lot of ideas that I have that, I don't want to call them 'left,' but they are, you know what I mean?"Marssays. Regarding those stylistic turns, he continues, "My feeling has always been, I might gain some fans, I might lose some fans. But what they're hearing, it's all me."

The guitarist enlisted a crack team of musicians to help him along the way. A key contributor to the project wasWINGERand former ALICE COOPER keyboardist (and, like Mars, Nashville resident)Paul Taylor, who, in addition to performing on the record and assisting Marsin co-writing many of the tracks, introduced the guitarist to powerhouse vocalist Jacob Bunton. "Jacob came into the studio and it was like, bam!"Mars recalls. "And I just said, 'Yeah, he's the guy.' And most of his vocals were one take."

The supporting band was rounded out by KORN drummer Ray Luzier, bassist Chris Collier and singer Brion Gamboa, who contributed lead vocals to two songs. Mars reflects, "those required a little bit more of an angsty, desperation kind of thing. And Brion really came to the table with that." Alongside playing bass on all songs recorded, Collier mixed and mastered the debut solo album.

But while Mars surrounded himself with a new cast of players for the sessions, there was one figure who represented a significant link to his storied past: Michael Wagener. The much-lauded German producer and engineer worked behind the boards on MÖTLEY CRÜE's 1981 debut,"Too Fast For Love", and his relationship with Mars stretches even further back.

"I had known him for a long time, and I actually brought him to MÖTLEY,"Mars says. Working with Wagener this time, the guitarist continues, "he had such an understanding of where I wanted to go with the material. And he never said 'Hey, do this,' or tried to change my mind or anything like that. He was just really adamant about recording what I wanted to record, and making sure we recorded it right."

The result is a record unlike anything Mars has offered up in his more than 40-year career.

To that end, he says that even as he unleashes"The Other Side Of Mars"on the world, he's already working on a follow-up. He offers, "I'm trying to keep growing,"Mars says. "Because if you stop learning new things, if you stop playing new things, if you close your mind, you're done. You have to keep moving and creating. Next!"

"The Other Side of Mars"track listing:

1. Loyal To The Lie

02.Broken On The Inside

03.Alone

04.Killing Breed

05.Memories

06.Right Side Of Wrong

07.Ready To Roll

08.Undone

09.Ain't Going Back

10.LA Noir

This past June,Mars told Rolling Stone that he won't hit the road in support of the upcoming LP. "I'm done touring," he said. "If somebody really, really wants a one-off, or a couple of nights, I would probably do it. But all that travel stuff and planes … I'm way over it."

Mick also revealed that he recently sold his share of the publishing rights to the CRÜE catalog. "The deal was just finalized," he told Rolling Stone. "Now I can relax and don't have to worry about anything, since, like I said, I'm probably just going to live another seven or eight years."

When asked how he knows he won't live longer than eight years, the now-72-year-old said: "I'm old enough, man. I'm not going to live to be 85 or 90, I just have a feeling. I don't want to, either. My brain doesn't want this ugly-ass body that's all fucked up to keep going. I wish I could just take the information out of my brain, put it on a chip and into somebody else, or a robot. There's still a lot of stuff going on up there."

Three years ago,Bunton revealed that he was the lead singer on Mars's solo album. Speaking to AL.com, Bunton, who has previously also played with LYNAM, said about his collaboration with Mars: "I can tell you that I'm involved and the past several months we wrote and recorded a record and Michael Wagener produced it.

The great Michael Wagener from [mixing 1986 METALLICA album] 'Master Of Puppets' and all that kind of stuff. He worked with MÖTLEY CRÜE on their very first record 'Too Fast For Love', when they did it themselves they recorded the record and then Michael Wagener mixed, and then when they got the record deal with Elektra [QUEEN producer] Roy Thomas Baker ended up going back and remixing it. But on all of their self-released copies, it's Michael.

But to make a long story short, Michael's producing the record because that was the first producer Mick worked with in MÖTLEY CRÜE, so he wanted to do his solo album, so it's been really cool. We've been recording it in Nashville."

Regarding what fans can expect from Mars's solo CD, Bunton said: "The songs are really cool, the record is really cool. He's such an inventive player and his riffs are insane and it's definitely going to be what people are expecting. When they hear it … It's really cool."

In September 2019, Mick told Billboard about the musical direction of his solo material: "[It's] not like today's music, which to me is pretty much pop metal and more growly guys. It's all cool and it's all good, and I'm just searching for something that's just a little different than that. I [also] don't want to be living in '85. It's hard to reinvent yourself, but that's what I'm doing now. I'm trying to reinvent the way that I approach music writing. I've got a lot of crap, and I've got a lot of good stuff too."

At the time of the Billboard interview, Mars said that he had been working with a vocalist named Jacob, leading some fans to speculate that he was referring to Bunton. "[He] can be a lot of different voices, and it's pretty amazing,"Mick said. "I go, 'I want this kind of voice here,' and he'll pull it straight off."

In a separate interview with "Talking Metal", Mars said that his debut solo record will not sound like anybody else. "Well, I guess it's my own style," he said. "It isn't really blues. My playing has a blues element to it, of course, but it isn't what you would call a blues record. It's more of a heavier rock thing, but I don't wanna even try to 'outheavy' the heavies, you know what I mean? It's just something hopefully just a little different than what's going on now. You're not gonna hear a MÖTLEY-flavored song, except for the guitar, [because] that's me. They're gonna be a bit harder than that, but not as hard as the heavies, like MINISTRY and some of those guys."

Specifically, Mars claims he was asked to sign a severance agreement that would divest him of his 25 percent stake in the band's various business interests in return for a 5 percent stake in the band's 2023 tour. This stake, the lawsuit alleges, would be reduced to 0 percent for future tours.

Mick claims CRÜE's management later upped the offer from 5 percent to a 7.5 percent stake in the band's 2023 tour, which would remain contingent on Mars divesting himself from the band and their businesses.

When Mars refused to sign the papers, the band took the dispute to arbitration "rather than a public lawsuit so that the public would not be aware of the deplorable manner in which they treated their 'brother' of 41 years,"Mick claims in the lawsuit.

So, new Mick Mars music first song out now – today. Harder music, yet I do not think it holds what is relevant. Maybe when on 23^rdof February, hearing the entire album I will get a different opinion of it all. Good to see the door behind him getting closed. Good to see it starts a new – short lived I believe but still. Cause I do not think Mick is around in five years. I actually do not. He is also already working on the second album. Yeah, well interesting on its own terms.

26^thof October 2023,

A few people are opening up about things that are tried to be kept silence.

I do not k now what to really say. It is a blessing some comes out but I am missing the bitter sweet proof of it all. I know more and more about the untold truth and have to say a few things feels like they are adding up. For real. But it is a gut feeling not a solid to be found proof. Here is today’s latest thing:

“Was Jani Lane of Warrant raped by Tommy Lee and murdered for trying to expose it?”

Another story that was heard of several years ago and it never was too much in the talks in the underground as I would call it. As the story goes, late Warrant singer Jani Lane was allegedly raped in the mid-80s by a famous metal musician and his manager just after moving to LA and getting into the Sunset Strip club scene.

Word of Lane supposedly having been drugged and sexually taken advantage of by a member of a famous metal band and the group manager first emerged in “Dirty Rocker Boys” the 2013 memoir by Bobbie Brown, an actress, and model and probably best known as the chick in the Warrant video “Cherry Pie”. Brown, who met Lane on the video set, married the man in 1990 and had a daughter with lane, Taylar Jayne Lane, before the couple divorced in 1993. The rumor going around todayis that Tommy lee of Motley Crue wasthe rapist of lane.

At one time, Brown actually dated Tommy. In her book from 2013, Brown admitted that she was a cocaine and methamphetamine addict for a decade. She also says “at the moment that he admitted he was drugged and raped by a member of a famous band and their manager it was devastating to hear. He seems to have admitted this to her shortly before his death.

So how was it? Was Jani Lane murdered or was it something else? Was it all leading up to a murder to cover up the tragic story? His body was found in a hotel in a Woodland Hills, CA. Comfort Inn on August 11, 2011. Is it all a conspiracy theory? In that case it is a crazy one.

John Kennedy Oswald – Jani Lane real name.

Lammas Day for Satanic religion begins on August 1^stand “Feast of the Sun God” which is a weeklong period of more than perfectly coincidences with the mysterious death of lane, who was said to have died due to “acute alcohol poisoning”. I is of course entirely possible that Bobbi tipped off lee about Jani Lane`s “regained memory” of the Lee rape incident, and that advanced warning allowed lee and his people enough time to get to Lane and somehow got involved in his passing. Staged his death as an obvious OD and left him in the hotel room.

As a fan it just sounds really strange as well. Anyone involved in such drastic actions would possibly show signs of something is not right, sooner or later.

TMD reported another story about Tommy potentially drugging a female around the same time, and this is all at the same period that Al Bowman the EX Crue-limousine driver confessed to have hunted down “virgin” groupies for Neil, Sixx and Lee to have these talked about group and individual sexual activities – close if not directly to the word “rape”. All carried out by The Church of Satan cult.”

Bobbie Brown shares her story quite convincingly, like a two-bit soft porn actress would be able to. She said, “it was traumatizing to listen to him reveal those things and how much it had affected his life up at that point.

It all happened when he just started out of the Sunset strip. Bobby seemed to want to share actions and do something about it. But Al Bowman was too humiliated to step up and seen in that position, so nothing ever happened. Instead, Bowman lived with his shame and anger inside.

It was all one big mind-fuck.

Sometimes I ask myself its it as a fan – something you want to know? Is it something you really want to be aware of? Does it do something to the passion one sits with? Well, of cause it does. I would say it is absolutely horrible the max, no matter if this involves the band, other famous, or non-famous people. It is for sure a sick and twisted action any should be punished for in form of criminal charges.

So, did Bobbi ever tell anything publicly about Jani`s confession, of being raped in attempt to end the rapist from doing this again to someone else? No she did not – she had her hands full selling books. At a time when she still had the mighty dollar to cash in to cover her heavy meth habit. So, it is obviously also a bit suspicious looking at all this if someone is writing books and exposing sides of family and individual secrets for profits.

Like this the tragic death of Jani lane`s – was there a curse put on Lane from the video that is so often pointed out as being the one that killed glam metal music and videos? That by the way, funny enough also was the last song to be written for the debut album. It was for sure the radio hit for the ages but also the started set up as the end for lane – and the music genre.

Then it is obviously also quite known that his epic booze intake would be a perfect cover and reason for a possible planned homicidal attack.

What else? Well, Vince Neil. Yes, the man that has been the talk the first 18 months, since last year`s start of stadium tour. The thing is Vince is a two-way thing – so to speak. Fans would not allow him to leave for another voice. No matter what he sounds like. Secondly, he is on a slightly different contract with the band – so combined those two details makes it all come to the point being – they cannot fire Vince Neil.

No matter what the band claims they have for a very long-time years and years used playback. Mr. Neil is and has entered the studio with a ghost singer as his vocals are no more. It is far over for this man to do anything even decent anymore. He has led a life (amongst other things) that has totally taken his capability away to be singing. This is why songs sound so strange to many at the shows instruments and vocals are taped.

It truly feels like the band is trying desperately to stop the bleeding from the damning lip-sync revelations, that began 2022. It to me feels like a sinking Titanic where staff tries all there is to be carried out to help that very sinking. There are so many reasons, this is one of them, to why my personal stopped touring for the band came around. Not worth the damage to old memories and especially not worth the money. Hell records and DVDs are better experiences.

A lot of the old loyal fans and industry people have called for Vince to be let go to save this act. But as stated above it will not happen. The major thing I think is Nikki Sixx. He holds al like puppets and certainly Tommy dances to his demands. Vince speaks his mind yes, but the mighty dollar sign speaks so what ever Sixx aims towards if it secures the dollar Vince is in on it too for sure.

The Mick thing is to me a repeat sending of 1992 Vince Neil situation.

Nikki says Mars did not carry the weight over the years, nor contribute much overall songwriting wise, and making too many faults on stage. So the 72 year old, secretly got ousted in a similar way to what happened to Neil when accusing hm to be too obsessed by car racing. That in the end introduced us all to John Corabi.

The thing is Neil has over the last 24 months given us all so many proofs that his career of singing is over for good. His stage presence is beyond anything likeable. He just does not seem to care anymore. But the cash, the ton of cash, makes this bird stick to the mat. He has been too out of breath, lost voice, fallen off stage, etc. but yet fans refuse to let any other take his place. And Sixx knows this that is also why he is so over defensive about the blond singer. It is that simple.

Have you ever heard of a “Ghost singer”? it is the way the band partly tries to save their career from ending up at the bottom, by pulling this diversion with Mick Mars and that drama after ousting hm for totally illegit reasons. Have you ever heard that many of the major music superstars have been caught crediting the individual used on albums who is singing about three quarter of songs as only “background vocalists”.

You have a high-level rock singer coming into the studio and secretly cut most of the lyrics and allowing very little of the voice of Vince Neil to make it into the final mix. A ghost singer guess falls on Ex singer of CREED Scott Stapp.

Even Bob Rock been doing things for Nikki Sixx as bass player on the coming new songs.

I personally am troubled by this thing. It is a pride and a love for an artist, that is surely affected by this. Again, what is to love if the damn artists cannot even perform its own songs. Singing or playing? Just asking.

24^thof November 2023,

Loads of new info again – mixed strange, fun great and sad news. Mick Mars is in a handful of days coming out with the first new song from his and a followed interview that is fresh out of the box. I personally is curious and excited about obviously the music and the news. Just hope there is solidly focus on the music him and his not so much the crap going on between he and the band. Time will tell.

The Japan concert promoter almost legend Mr. Udo has passed away. A little strange that he is even up in the media of news on this side of the world. We really have nothing to do with him or Japan and Japanese shows at all. But as said he is legendary and has worked with all artists that has pretty much ever been anything in the last many decades. Now he has left us and my guess is he will be missed a lot by many and that the structure and other details for sure will be somewhat different in Japan.

This year also holds a 2023 Halloween shirt version. Two. I have always found that as a fun idea to go back to year after year.

11^thof October 2023,

So things change all the time it seems things and people around me constantly have things to share. To give. And to remind me of. So many things in the collecting and informative world in the universe of interest I hold. I think one of the real missed things now to come out about this band is – THE TRUTH.

Wait, what? Their biography is out there well documented and they have their own books out already. Ha, ha, ha, yeah true. But a lot of it is sadly just a good story. Not the truth. Re-write 1981 – 1983. Re-write statements and answered questions and press releases from most of the years, and we would get a bit closer. Re-do or better yet UNDO the Heroin Diaries. Just saying…

There are of course reasons why certain members are not interested in having the truth come to the surface. There are things that have stuck with some since the early days. No matter what the reasons are for this it just really sets the records wrong in so many ways. And I find it to be a bit disrespectful. In the more reason years, I see those twisted truths being used in businesses and political decisions for, with, and around the band these days.

Sixx I have sadly gone on a kind of lost respect of sorts. Do not like or believe much that’s coming from him any longer, when it is all said and done I am a bit sad that the outcome of all that admiration got to be just that.

A friend (showing proofs and details) has given me a lot of mixed emotions. Sixx, he is the most 2 face trying by pulling him back into those early days he has no interest other than “I need all the old photos and passes and things like that” for he could scan them for himself so that he could put them into his digital museum for his family.

He is the most 2 face I'm trying to keep the conversation in Instagram going by pulling him back into those early days he has no interest other that I need all the old photos and passes and things like that for he could scan them for he could put them into his digital museum for his family. He can care less train and by engaging with me about those old days I can't get them into it

Sometimes it feels like he's fishing for something he could benefit from.

He doesn't go to the fan groups he'll pop in. Only looking for something or like in Shaun's group initially he accused him of buying some of Tim Loosi stuff or anybody that's bought anything from backstage auctions. He said that belongs to him and that's not true.

He legally can't get anything back from good backstage auctions or Rockaway records. Those guys have disclosures, and they have their own liability clause. He can't get it everything back. It's kind of like OJ Simpson trying to get his Heisman trophy back so all this s*** that he discarded by being a responsible and being a heroin addict he wants it all back.

He won't take accountability for his own actions ever. So he gives a little bit of memories from back in the day and then he goes on to his own thing about what he's doing. Acknowledgment he owes that to at least the original gang that stood up for them and helped out daily for years.

I know more than a handful of fans that lost everything for him from buys they have done from people like Donna D. and previous wife because she did not want it around any longer and he never picked it up. He CLAIMS his rights not offering the fans money for it that they bought it for but simply demanding stuff back.

See this is a classic narcissist. He actually really believes that what he's doing he rightfully has the authority to do. He does not. He changed the history of Motley Crue completely. He just diminished the first year like a big baby having a tantrum. A book about how that freaking Tom's Zutaut took Allan Coffman down by creating a more hostile environment than things actually were, is written but will hardly ever see the light of day – I do not think.

Alan was in trouble by getting hard loans. True, but he was trying to keep the band above water. In the meantime, Alan lost everything he lost. His wife lost his contractor's license, and lost his bond to his home. He never recovered anything, and Nikki thought that you know they had rightful ownership of all the things that were taken by Alan and that were sold at the barber coffman auction Nikki or any of the Batman members never put a nickel of their own money into the band.

Allan Bank rolled everything he never recovered I have a copy of the budget where we were all getting paid. What moneys were going to what Alan put about $220,000 of his own money out? He never got a nickel back when he was dead. His wife sold the storage locker that had all that stuff in it that fans like Ron Toma and Ryan bought.

Sometimes I think he's fishing with me for something like, but I don't think so. He doesn't go to the fan groups he'll pop in. Only looking for something or like in Shaun's group initially he accused him of buying some of Tim L. stuff or anybody that's bought anything from backstage auctions. He said that belongs to him and that's not true. He legally can't get anything back from good backstage auctions or Rockaway records. Those guys have disclosures, and they have their own liability clause. He can't get it everything back.

It's kind of like OJ Simpson trying to get his Heisman trophy back so all this s*** that he discarded by being a responsible and being a heroin addict he wants it all back. He won't take accountability for his own actions ever. So I'm trying to talk to the guy so he gives me a little bit of memories from back in the day and then he goes on to his own thing about what he's doing. I can't keep them latched on but I'm trying it's harmless for me to do. That is for my own. Acknowledgment he owes that to us.

Alan was swimming in the ocean of sharks, and he was a small fish. He got way over his head Barry, Mark R. and the gang that is like the crew for the Crue watched the process happen step by step day by day. Allan was getting closer to being thrown out Ellen's last show was New Year's evil show at the Santa Monica Civic 1982. That was it. He got axed after that.

I think my irritations and other details escalated when the 2007 tour and forward started to go sideways due to his behaviour during the divorce from Donna D. and the time she and Auction houses started to sell out of stuff he left behind and never claimed after leaving the address.

Exactly, see this is a classic narcissist. He actually really believes that what he's doing he rightfully has the authority to do. He does not. He changed the history of Motley Crue completely. He just diminished the first year like a big baby having a tantrum. I ride a host section in the book about how that freaking Tom's Zutaut took Allan Coffman down by creating a more hostile environment then things actually were.

Alan was in trouble by getting hard loans. True but he was trying to keep the band above water. In the meantime, Alan lost everything he lost. His wife lost his contractor's license, lost his bond his home. He never recovered anything, and Nikki thought that you know they had rightful ownership to all the things that were taken by Alan and that were sold at the barber coffman auction Nikki or any of the Batman members never put a nickel of their own money into the band.

Allan Bank rolled everything he never recovered I have a copy of the budget where we were all getting paid. What moneys were going to what Alan put about $220,000 of his own money out? He never got a nickel back when he was dead. His wife sold the storage locker that had all that stuff in it that Ron Toma and Ryan bought.

This jacket right here belongs to micks first roadie Slug Mick gifted this to Slug It was the jacket that mick was wearing the first day I met him he was battered, hard worn, had repairs and tears in the lining but it was before he had any money. He'd been wearing this jacket for many many years so Ted has had it. He gave it to his daughter and we talked about it a few years ago. If you were wanted to sell it, it says I might be able to sell it. I'd never seen it but this is the jacket that was used in the promo promotion.

So Ted was asking a lot of money for it and it says it's not going to bring money like the short length Wilson jacket that Tommy and Nikki had back in the day that was used in many of the photo sessions and the album. That was the one of the first things that Allan bought these guys. Jerry Kozak now owns those jackets.

The roadies (still) have roadie shirts left and Ted has his roadie shirt left and everything Too Fast era – collector – Ryan is going to end up getting both of them. I know he's going to buy them soon.

This one in the picture is a short, waisted jacket. The one showed the pictures above is a picture of is a 3/4 length jacket dead Mick had and it smelled like s*** lol. It is not as easy as to sell this stuff. Man, you got to have a lot of paper and you got to have a lot of documents. You have to write a letter who you are I mean obviously slugs.

His name is in the 45. The toast 45 slug and stick. So, he just thought that you know it could be doable to just do a deal like with many other things of his. Tons of sold albums that he had. Passes, flyers. Sold a bunch of things that he had connected when we were all working together so Ryan owns all that stuff.

But here he said that when ready to sell the jacket I might be contacted. He thought the jacket was worth like $15,000. It has not a chance that's Brian Scott kind of dollars and it does have some value but not like that one that's on the album or the one that's in the 45 or anything that's been photographed with them playing on stage with Mick wearing that jacket. Jerry Kozak has Tommy's and Mick The funny thing is I don't remember Jerry as a fixture.

A lot of people hung around back then and then they claimed that they were tight with the band. I could tell you who hung around that band and Don Cornford was one of the guys. Jeff Van jindelt. He was one of the guys. He actually should have been Micks Roadie in a few other people like Donovan there are pictures of Donovan hanging around with Tommy. Another guy that was hanging around. He was just a drug dealer and then all the women but there were not a lot of guys that were really a fixture.

A couple of friends of Tommy's were there but Nikki's friends came and went. Nikki was the one who would have friends and all of a sudden, they fell away because Nikki was chopping heads off early on getting rid of everybody that he had issues with.

The worst thing that Nikki did is when the day the crew left. Stick got fired. Ted got fired and two other guys that got fired and they can't remember their names. But this is when doc McGee came in there and started to put his company’s security and crew together.

Tommy, Tommy Scott, Clyde stayed, and Tim stayed what Tim shared a week after they left. Nikki had a meeting with Doug Fowler, doc McGee and two other A&R guys and they said we're starting a new chapter of Motley Crue, and I want to never hear the word. Ellen Barry, Mark Stick or Ted it's history. Those were Alan's guys. That is how it was decided that they were not to be part of the ride no longer.

Nikki basically committed genocide with the same wiped all of these guys off the list of the history of the beginning. He did. He was so heated because these guys put a f****** bug in his ear and created this hostile environment. Like if these guys were loyal to Ellen, they were loyal to the band that had nothing to do with Alan or what was his. The one who paid these guys were Alan C. Occasionally, they were working for Molly and that was it and Nikki couldn't. He couldn't distinguish that in this.

The thing is that Tim, Nikki bass tech said when my friend said “dude how come they wrote all his books and they excluded us and he says they knew where you guys were? They knew exactly where you were and where you stood in the band` history. They wanted to just change it, so they changed the history and that's the bad part. Most people, most fans only know the chosen Nikki version. Not the actual real one.

My friend know the exact truth how everything went. I have seen proof to the words and documents that states what should come out is real. He knows what Nikki was like. He spent three years with him every single day. He treated them well the whole time. Nikki and my friend never had a fight. They had an argument one time over a woman that my friend ended up dating because he liked her. She didn't like him, and he used to tease my friend about it and it happened one more time.

Also, Nikki was a guy when he was a little kid. He was one of those guys that never shared his toys. He was a little monster, little brat, he got raised in a very good environment by relatives. Maybe not his parents, but his aunt and grandparents treated him like a little prince.

Nikki` life was not as tragic as he has been written about it, but what sells is tragedy and a victim life. People love to see that to make it look like he's just tough. He's a guy that's overcome all these. You know the difficulties. He's had a good life. He's been a monster and a spoiled brat. That's the truth. He was very chickenshit and calculated back.

I do not think you would believe the stuff that he did, and in the way he would do it. He would use girls. He would use drug dealers. He would have the early band crew going and invite people in and as soon as they delivered whatever he wanted he tell instruct the crew to not let them in again these poor girls thought that they were going to be inside his circle as soon as he screwed them or used them. This happened constantly. The crew were right in the middle of it because most of these little groupies had to get through these guys to get to the members in the band.

That was just a tiny bit if what was happening. Nikki had no conscience.

Vince and Tommy seemed to be somewhat different. For sure took advantage of the fact of being in a band on its way up. No doubt. Mick never really partied. He was also older but had no interest in the so-called limelight. He is not even remembered to be at any unofficial get-togethers anywhere at any time. He just wanted to play and be left alone. Keep his privacy so to speak. Stay at the hotels play his guitar drink his clue and brandy and eat.

If with fans and friends, it was always calm and controlled. He was there because he loved music. Loved to make it and loved to play it. He never had a need to become famous. Nikki wanted to be famous. He did not want to become a great player – that was never a goal. But the fame was the light in the darkroom that Nikki wanted. No matter what he had to do.

9^thof October 2023,

Oh god, a ton of things to do and try to get sorted and done in my Crue life.

I just think I struggle a bit too hard these days with this. A part of me would have appreciated if I back in the day could have focused on just a few different areas. Like, say posters and vinyl or just a certain record area. But it never was possible for me. And not only now but especially now it is far tougher to say it is a solid fun thing to do. It is hard. Missing out on tons that I never missed out on previously. The words of a collector. Yeah, I know how it sounds, but it is like that.

Many things and many ideas but no cash or time for all I love to do. I do think what has broken the camel's back – so to speak- is the mass productive and action list of doings and releasing stuff since 2022. Far too much and far too high priced in these modern-day times. Looking in on the collection there has come a lot. For sure, but it is still only part of what has been. And then no touring has been done whatsoever. One show just to get the merch and test the different opinions of the new version of the band.

Tour stuff has been fairly covered anyway and that kind of feels great. Japan and Australia are coming up and there is no way I can do it. So that will be missed out on. But I guess it is that old saying “something for something”. Just cannot win it all.

6^thof October 2023,

Good morning world. So woke up to news flashes from several of my worldwide friends. They had news about both the double live Camden UK vinyl set, some new shirts, and a book from Poland and Russia that I seem to already have. Cool, they are still sharing information with me.

I am not traveling or anything, so I hardly get to do much in the name of this thing anymore. And that also means seeing my friends around the world. That is a big part of me being emotionally marked as well. I miss many of the ones out there, but nothing about my life is making much of these travels possible anymore. Not to be repeating myself to death I choose to just leave it at that.

Exciting times and exciting times. Hmm, yeah well. Certainly, a lot is happening to get to be keeping up in most ways with the Crue world. Rumours continue to follow this band. And I totally understand why. But I will not pay too much attention to it as most of it could be real and of course, a lot just selling news. With that, I retire and turn to bed for the day. More later.

5^thof October 2023,

Who would have guessed? I guess we all would. But in the bootleg world, there is now to come a 2 lp vinyl set in three colours holding the secret “Dogs Of War” London, UK show plus the performance at NFL early this year.

Would absolutely love to get those. They seem nicely made. Gatefold cover with poster and everything. 100 made of each version, would have to say a lot of bootleg video and other material as CDs and now this coming one are available – and they all seem to sell quite fast.

Popular lineup? I do not know I think it is all more about the fact that people are happy to just be able to still see them in the flesh – live – in 2023. I think it is more that.

4^thof October 2023,

A Finland trip has been put behind us over the last few days. Demolition 23. Live 2023. Really the best -. I can now skip seeing any more Michael Monroe stuff. It was that good. A good few new friend – well we will see obviously but a few new people from Cannada that I really liked. Hung out with them the day after the last show and went to the movies to see the new Monroe movie. I have nothing to say about that. Could be that it was all know already. And holds really nothing new. But in my mind, I cannot say it was in Finish, so I have to wait till April for the DVD release. Was in it though for a second or two.

Had a trip down to Music hunter as well found one magazine the way overpriced magazine is now in the collection thanks to Lisa – looked for it since 2002. It was massively satisfaction. Our Canadian friends bought and shopped Hanoi Rocks for 100s of Euros.

I was experiencing a tiredness from travelling and waiting and standing in line like I have not experienced before. This was a seriously hard trip. And one thing that also hit me the hardest so far was how I feel trapped about me always must listen to and share the Monroe stuff, comments and stories and joy when I cannot and am not really aloud to do the same as she simply hates the band for whatever reason. It begins to be harder than it has been. But I have told her as well.

A lot of things are informed by different folks to me the last few days too. So, more Crue is coming for sure. My Japanese friend has already gotten what seems to be new bootleg CDs and magazines. My Argentina friend just send me the First 21 – the Sixx book in Portuguese and printed in Brazil. My brother informed me he has stuff that is found from several places and should really do me happy as it comes here.

A friend at a auction place has some stuff too she has been able to get as not being part of some auction thing. I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am in times when job income and other is rock hard tough and stressful. I am so happy for the things possible. Will not complain but still share my inner stress. I hate this job that I have right now. I am not good at it and even if I was, I would still hate it. I am mainly doing what I hate other people do to me. I say no more.

All in all, a tiring week in the bigger scale. But also, a fantastic list of fantastic things. There are so many things and thoughts in my head. I have a hard time putting them all down – tired, I guess. Maybe I should just get it all down during the coming weekend. With a clearer head. Smart thinking, I say and smile a little. Good night.

26^thof September 2023,

My friend says today it is quite possible there is a chance – a rather big chance - that he will get some things from the event he works at. Could be really cool had that been a thing. I will know in a few days. Also, there seems to have been a new hoodie shirt released this September for the anniversary of the “Shout” album. Love to get it. Even having an extra to wear had been nice. This hoodie is actually great. But finding that amount twice is kind of crazy.

I have to say, I am quite stunned that the band, after they said they were returning to the stage in 2022 after they actually got this popular no matter the issues, no matter the stinky flaws or not.

Anyways, a brand new full magazine special is out in the USA and Canada done by US Weekly.

Also, the next issue is October 2023 – Sweden Rock magazine. There will be another cover story there too. I am just so very amazed of it all. Burrn in Japan had a 12-page cover story too this September.

Today also is a bit of a milestone for me. It was the day I stood in a record store. Worked and unpacked the box holding this band`s 1983 album and heard of the band for the very first time ever in my life. MOST of my life has actually passed with this band which is also a bit sick to think about.

It is a risky fucking matter when a liking turns into a loving, turns into a passion, and from there an addiction and then strapped up and holding it as a family in good and bad. Things have changed, yes, but what a ride. What a much loved and much hated relationship.

25^thof September 2023,

Vince pass / artist wristband from Copenhell, Sweden Rock, Rockfest Finland, NFL artist pass, Courtney picks set*and maybe some guitar picks ...can be finding its way to here. Things are for sure not a guaranteed fact yet. But it is for sure good option.

I am waiting for a friend to really get back with details. He has been on some sort of donation thing and he is to hear more in a day or so. There are surely good vibes. I do not have details as said but this had been a late year fun adding to be honest. More on it tomorrow IF I get news… good night

20^thof September 2023,

So, what goes down today? I tell you, packages arrived. Some new – new and older stuff. Great to sit and go into the stuff. I do think the remaining time of year will bring a great deal into the light. Scans, registrations, sorting’s, you name it. I am on a path of what I think will be a really nice and positive remaining time of year. At least that is a here and now feeling.

But I am so looking forward to this. Spend some time with the shit.

18^thof September 2023,

Having a bit of a stressful time. I have not really solutions to things, ideas, hopes, or wishes I like to do. It is simply me in my “Swedish environment” – it has always been with a bit of nervousness and unclear solutions to things in my life to be honest.

Everything is turned inside out since 2014 for me. There is no question. I hope I find peace with it all anytime soon. It is a hard tough one to crack. Or if I could just forget about the liked and loved stuff in life. For me, it is traveling, and vacation. My deep and very important collecting. Or my wishful thinking for stuff to get done in and with the house now that I actually have one. It is tough. But I hope for better as said.

Motley well it is still keeps coming to the news and the rumors of what, how, and if or when… Most of it is just down the same road from all the sad bullshit there has been the last few years. I think it adds to the fact I see it as a completely different band today than ever before. I do not say that with a thrill. It is still a very interesting “untold truth” a lot of this, but it is not with a smile that I point it out.

It kind of twists everything around and gives me a mixed and split view of this band. To a level where I throw in the towel and just let it go? No. not at all. It is not that. But the part where I say it is the most special band to me slowly changes as the ice or the north pole. And then in the end what happens? Things get flooded and I get to have had enough. That is just how it is. But when that is and how that is going to go down – at this point I have absolutely no clue.

I feel that I have searched and searched for other fans to talk to them about these things, but I do not see them out there. I may have a twist in how and why I collect this Crue. I have NEVER thought they were the best band – ever. Cause they were not. But they did something to or for me that made me get interested to a level where I now feel a bit alone.

Most of my life it feels like just that. Alone with my life my ways and how and what music does to me. It is a passion that I for one cannot truly explain to many. I am not hearing others say it is the same reason for them personally when it comes to what this band is to them. Or what goes through their minds when thinking of this band or music in general.

15^thof September 2023,

So, it is done. My Brother visit me in November of this year. He has sorted all his boxes and started taking pictures of his collection too. Crashdiet is the band he is into. The thing is he had jam-packed stuff in an old cellar room as well. But now after sorting, there have been things found and lots of it. On Motley. Well, I cannot say I am massively surprised. There has been stuff all over the place here. There has been chaos in the last 14 years with my collection. It is since last year box by box getting under control and it feels so fucking great, I have to say.

He is to be bringing most of it in November then. How cool. It shall be a great week to share. And by then it is also Christmas décor time. I love it. It is without question what I have liked for him to see. Maybe there will be snow by that time. Yeah, it is for sure a great time and it will be an absolutely effective week. Sorting and getting the things sorted and all.

On another note a couple of days ago I must say, that I am absolutely stunned by the secrets, to the one member, and why all is like it is. And has been like it has been. With an added understanding of certain actions that have shocked me and other fans when it comes to pulled stunts by this member over the years. It is absolutely clear after having seen pictures and documents that are not supposed to be seen by anyone – like ever.

For the music and for the music interest and passion – there is only one member in this band that ever truly was in it for the music.

13^thOf September 2023

So, given that this band is built on a few things that are truly not to get out, I have to say things are slightly different and the story would maybe have caught me in a slightly different way than what is presented to the world in the biography, considered the official story. Would I then not have gotten the interest?

Oh, I am sure I would. This is just different. Had I known this from the early days then I would for sure be curious as well. Besides it was the music and the look combined on the second album that caught my attention.

I do think though it could have made an impact to how and why I saw the band as I did. and do.

Motley Crue deep down in the foundation is built on lies, egos, secrets, personality crises, and scams, I could add a few more words there. And since I for one am a fan that likes the music but is without question into the history and the untold stuff, I have to say I am all wrapped up in this for far other reasons than most that I know.

11^thof September 2023,

Okay been sitting with a guy that really takes things to a new level. I will keep his soul nameless out of respect. He showed proof of several things that are a little mind-blowing to say the least. I will get in on this more the coming days. But it really sounds like the ordinary fans are so not knowing what about the “official story” is truly the truth and what is not. Things have been and gotten – very twisted. One guy seems to have the REAL STORY re-written on his own terms. Nikki Sixx.

Why? Cause he did not personally fancy the truth. Oh yeah, Nikki was the architect of the band for sure. Still is always will be. But it is for sure a twisted strange world nowadays. Have known a few things never shared before in my collecting time. Have had many wondering thoughts about what the real truth to the band’s history is. No, I mean THE REAL truth. Not the official one. Not the written one that is down in the history books. What is the real shitstorm?

I know a LOT MORE ABOUT THE FIRST FIVE YEARS now than I have heard anyone mention– ever. It is a bit more tragic but interesting than what I even thought the so-called official story tells it like.

It is kind of interesting to be sitting with information that at least one man does not want to come out. How absolutely insane is this? I doubt I should make anything public. But I can say it is without question explaining a lot about what and why one man is and why the band is like it is.

There are a few people desperately wanting to let the truth come out but a bit in fear of what it can do to them since law and rules are like they are here and there. I am telling you. I could not say it would, but more than likely could turn a lot of people a bit upside down. Knowing these things also makes you get a bit different view on a lot that is said out there. In the media and so-called music business rumors the last two years. Oh yes, it is an absolutely crazy, crazy twist.

8^thof September 2023,

It has not much to do with me. But it is a deeply touching thing. My friend Anna P. handed over her dog after 13 plus years to the vet and to say goodbye. It was time and it is a heart-breaking thing. I know exactly what she goes through and tomorrow and the days after will not be much different. It is a hard fucking time to get through that kind of thing.

I never ever was emotionally attached to an animal till our baby Edith came around. Her loss took the best of me. That was not a nice thing to go through. From a human the toughest loses have been Elvis Presley, Eric Carr, Prince just to mention a few that created kind of the soundtrack to my life.

There are so many things that are happening and while loses are heard about we have small new lives that are not the long living kind, but they are sweet. We have new rabbit babies here. They are great and starting to really come around. Seeing and getting curious to come out in life.

Motley Crue there are things out that I would say “wau, nice” about. Also, cool things offered but hmm, do not know how to get a grip around it all. So much, so many things, but I think I need to get into the last month of the year. Then – maybe then I feel a bit more comfortable. Relaxed and have an okay feeling. It feels like it is a tough detail in the collecting world. But okay – it is what it is. And there is a god few millions out there to go up against on first come first serve type of situation.

5^thOf September 2023,

Man, how nice. It is absolutely cool to know it is now the start of my absolutely favourite time of year. The darkness is sneaking in. The leaves are getting yellow and brown and started to fall from the trees. The colder days are slowing knocking on the doors.

My kind of season.

On a Motley level I know things are being added all the time to the site. The sections are slowing getting together. Smaller stuff and larger boxes are found a little by little. I know there are many sections to still be done and organized. But shit this takes time man. A lot of it too.

Some records, vinyl’s are found in DK to be brought up here. Other things as well. Photos, picks, shirts, posters etc. But … it takes time. I know it is a bittersweet something constantly. Things are still exciting but only on a collecting level. Everything else is no. Not anymore. Hard to picture that this change would ever have come for me. The laying off from touring. Sucks balls to tell you the truth.

But okay I am still very – and brutally - honest with myself around this. I am not going to do anything in their name I do not want, like or can stand for. And the live bit is one of them things. I sound like an old bitter record. I am not bitter not any longer I was. But I just got so insanely disappointed. Let me see how the new non Crue record will be. No Vince singing on it. And very limited SIXX on the bass. It is almost a laugh.

29^thof August 2023,

It is another day of newsflashes it seems. Several fans have torn my friend`s collection. The late Mats J. Now the collection is no more. It is all over the place. And it is never again to be one.

Personally, I find it sad. But I offered the family some cool thoughts about what to do with it. But as usual, they went for the money. It is no surprise really. It is the emotional heart of mine that is trouble to me. One guy spends half a lifetime in money and time to collect things and all gets washed away from others wanting money from it. It is the human way. Is it not?

26^thof August 2023,

Saturday and a lot more in place. Picks, vinyl records, 8x10s, and some other things are now covered and figured out and November will more than likely be the month to add a serious load of things again in these sections. We are now in the afternoon of Saturday Tomorrow as said is a workday, but I need it so bad just keep holding on to my fairly resting days. I must come to terms with the needs of the coming week. I am so out of it.

I am longing for more time to get things in place. And not spend it on all this fucked up stressful work. I long for a lot. I long for serious better times. Balance and more. I have a lot of things ready in my head how to have things done and all but I need time and strength to also fulfil it.

I hope for tickets and others tuff later on and hopefully to be able to find any of the 2022 23 itineraries. NO ONE has one that is up on a list of stuff for sale. Maybe later. We will see. Had been cool at least. I also found out that I am missing the Wembley Stadium city poster 2023. A little bit annoying since I never heard of it being made. Europe holds just one poster for all cities/tour. Maybe sometime someday somewhere.

24^thof August 2023,

Thursday. Normally the best day in the week to be honest. Well, things have happened at work, and it drains everyone. I am quite honestly sick and VERY tired. Mentally tired of everything that is and has been going on for some time now. Just really want to get through it day after day.

Hockey season started for us all to physically be at the arena last night again. It is a new perspective for me on this, I think. I need to get out and do something else. There is a “just for fun” pod kind of thing that I am doing with Emma F. Nowadays it does not hold a lot of substance yet, but I do think it is something that we take on to have fun. I would love to see it a lot differently but yet … it has taken me away from the everyday pressure.

On a more CRUE-related front, all 8x10s are now sorted which feels nice. I know where to look if I should look for 83 84 shots. I did not know a week ago. So that is nice now. My Japanese friend has told me that he has CDs, a shirt and some magazines found for me. He will send it shortly. Nice to still see him think of me. It is such a crazy rare thing these days to have people in your life who willingly think of you to help you out on expanding what you have a passion for on the other side of the globe.

I have a handful around the world who would love to do this. I appreciate it.

The coming few weeks will be extra hard. Extra tough. Economically. But that period will pass to. Just let me get through it. Personally, I need and want to get to the End of October then I am better off. I think.

Now let me just take myself through this day. Then it is an off day tomorrow and Saturday working Sunday.

18^thof August 2023,

After lots of memories in my head last night around Presley my mind slipped back to the collection of Crue. The site and the thoughts and status of my life. I got to admit after what happened to my mother – she got a stroke a couple of years ago, I have thought and looked at life in a slightly different way. And I do not particularly like it – at all. But I cannot help it.

If I ever thought life was short many years ago then now – I feel there is quite simply no time to fuck around. You can forget about a lot of the dreams you have if you are not a rich kid. It is that simple. There is not enough time to let every dream and plan take several years. It will not happen.

I am already nervous about next year – closure on this current job and have nothing else. But I need to have things in place and under control. I am having closure on several things and, I want to feel fairly secure and calm about the basic. The everyday ordinary life. And its demands to be alive.

The collecting, well it is a beast to be fighting with. That it is. I feel like I want and need to get it even more sorted and taken care of in an even better way that I got it done last year. Then – it was sorted into section. Like all posters together, all shirts, all this and that. Now it needs to get sorted further and placed in a much cooler and better way. That would simply be so much more awesome. Hopefully my younger brother comes up for a visit in November and I may be able to take a few days off so we can try to do exactly that.

There is an evening tonight that will have me go through a section either tickets or picks or other …

And get one section sorted in detail. It is a constant nice thing to have in the perfect place and have it sorted.

Maybe I take the entire load of 8 x 10s? Several 1000s. But I know there is a mess in some of those binders too. I have it sorted into solo sections and on the band album for album. Much better control over what there is. Promos from record labels all together. And to go through them and see them everyone’s in a while is a pleasure. It is a proud-owned collection these days.

I will reach out to my friend who handles a collection that is to be sold, be split up, to see if any of my old water-damaged CDs / vinyl’s are available. I would love to have them replaced if possible and just throw these away that is now ruined. Having a hard time throwing them away until I have it replaced. God, I hate that. Such a waste of time searching and money. But it is the passion and what it is about.

Shall be a good day or rather a good evening. Have to finish job first.

17^thof August 2023,

Just did not want to post last night. Like so many years before I was extra taken by the annual date of Elvis Presley's death. 46 years ago, yesterday. And he lived to be 42. I just cannot believe how short life is for me. Time just passes by and suddenly 10 more years have rolled by never to come back. Elvis Presley what a story. What a man, what an impact he had on my life.

I often go in and see new things new reports from events and listen to his music. It means something. It is hard for me to put words to what that feeling is. I mean certain things in my life just really are tough to find words to describe how or what it all means. Most around him are like that. And to think he should be 88 years old now is weird.

He would more than likely be close to a more “natural” death today with that age had he lived. Still, he seems as important to my life as he ever did. Presley is surely missed, and I will more than likely never get over him or not miss his voice on new music and all that. Just a thought to, and about the legend that has been with me since the late 60s.

The Motley Crue tour is ongoing in the US again and I must be honest not followed it one bit. Maybe I should try to see if I could find more shows and download them to have. Now that I know a ton of audio and video coming my way soon. It is just to keep adding those and keep adding in the archives. A detail I have yet to get done and sorted on the website.

15^thof August 2023,

I begin to feel a new hunger for this thing that I do. A new hunger in the sense I would like to dig in deeper again. Just to get the story updated for me. Get into what is going on again. Because I honestly have not cared. I have been annoyed and exhausted from even accepting the last many years. Have had my focus on that and been pissed. I still do not like the new. Do not like the thing they do. Do not start touring again. That is for good – over with. I am not even having second thoughts. So, it is not that.

I just like to get back to the real reason why things got interesting for me. Back to the stories. Back to the actual love and passion there was. I really missed out on a lot in the more recent years I am fully aware however I do think I am slightly building up some sort of happiness again. I have taken pride in many things, and I unwillingly exchanged that for irritation. Sadness. Sort of bitterness. But surely frustration and irritation.

It get to be far better from now on and the year out so many things I am having my hands on now sorting fixing enjoying what I actually have and what’s coming in. So there is a really super positive thing walking parallel to the misery and frustrations at the same time. Thank god.

14^thof August 2023,

So be it. Things are not without a fight. A battle. Simply does not come smoothly. God so damn annoying. I will try to spare myself to have focus o the less positive and bad. So, things have started to somehow happen again. I have things going again in the collection and on a project kind of thing that is simply something that is close at heart, but people very often choose to ignore. So, for now, this is just for me. We, I should maybe say.

There is so very much to do and grab a hold of to be honest, but things take time. As I normally say, and things also require its battles it seems. In several ways. I hope to overwin the situations and come out as a stronger and happier ME. It is on high time. And it is fucking very much needed I can say.

8^thof August 2023,

Oh my god. Life is a bitch at work. I just do not get it. I have no fucking clue how to get certain things done. And I am far more than sick of it. I have no pleasure – absolutely not a drop of it working with this crap that I work with. The system for the unemployed in this country is mind-blowing. Absolutely amazing. Not in a good way. So, I try to do all I cannot to get there again in a while at least. You should think that being unemployed and a member of the union should run smoothly once you pay smoothly our membership fee and you actually do get to have things running smoothly.

Just really sick of the situation and the shitty work. It DOES affect my Crue world in several ways.

The shirt from the 6^thI mentioned well, the owner got back and said we will figure something out. He was surprised that I did not go to the event myself. He knows I have always been for the so-called special events whenever they happened. But no not this time. My touring days are over. No need to get into a repeated saying here. It begins to sound a bit old. But it is great that this particular shirt sees its future here in a not-too-long distant future. There are so many things and deals I love to do, but it is tough. Let me just see how things will fall out.

The site www.mcrueloyalty.dk got a little more updated last night. More added to it. Old diary postings in there as well. It is going to be a strange feeling seeing the postings after 2020 coming up on the site. So much bad, So much negative and disappointing, and not to mention the huge gap of years without postings…

That was mainly because I was in a haze for other reasons, and it made me not want to have anything to do with the band at all. Not even listening to them. I regained the old interest with a new twist as all know now. But I will be strange it is like postings about two different things I think.

What else is doable right now? Well, not much I am beginning to do some fine sorting within sections here. It feels like it is needed to have regained full control of things in details. So that is something I will have to put some focus on. I guess for now that is it. It is now – back to work!!

6^thof August 2023,

In the coming weeks, I am going to do a good well needed sorting with the sorted.

The collection needs to refine some things within a long list of collectibles, and I am looking so damn much forward to getting it done. To have extra complete control. I need that both for my own sake and for the collection. All is so easy and fast getting out of hand and I sit back with a well-invested something lifelong thing that I simply do not have only as enjoyed. And that for shit sure is wrong.

Tonight in 5 and a half hours there is a guy getting rid of his dogs at war shirt and wristband. A friend is trying to get it for me the ONLY thing that is missed from the secret show in the UK on July 1^st2023. Except for being there in person. I hope to have the pleasure of being able to say that it is added by then.

There are Shout anniversary things out now as pre-orders I have not done anything about either. Plus, other pages hold things that are not too easy to get in on right now. Financially it is impossible to be honest, but it is not over till it is impossible to find. So, there is hope for things still.

4^thof August 2023,

God damn it a few more big fans have now stepped off the ride so to speak.

It is enough of the bad, the greed, and the bullshit they tell me. Wau, well I am only surprised because it is these exact individuals. I am there myself remember? So, I am for sure fully understanding why and all that. The band is no longer any good.

Also now seen the news more in detail now about the coming October releases of the Shout boxset etc. There are so much going on as started in the previous mail. Let me just have the little hope I have of getting around it all or a lot of it slowly step by step.

Just turned into Saturday 5^th. Wau, a couple of CDs from Japan's 1982 and 1997 bootlegs are safe, A couple of “fun shirts” from the Sixx on Sixx store are safe as well. The Box set seems to be a rather high safe percentage as well through a friend. Not too bad. Younger brother is heading to Hamburg for his grand finale it seems. A festival show by the Crashdiet guys near Hamburg Hauptbahnhof second of September.

1^stof August 2023,

It is here. The month of August. I have to say I have a good feeling about that. I so long for the fall and be over with the summer stuff. I am extremely marked by things as I get older and summer is one of them. I am thinking more and more about what I maybe should not even though it is good that I do.

Health. Life. I absolutely hate to have been reminded of it this often. But I have lost too many people and too many friends. In their 40s and their 50s. Nothing is to be taken for granted. I so want to come to a dream state of daily living with Lisa. I long for being extra, extra, extra connected. There has been too much turbulence between us especially about our differences.

It is not all crap obviously. I just so long for getting to that point – again the older I get I search for that non-replaceable comfort in another person. I see life like I do not hear anyone talking about it. Sometimes I wonder why people are so fucking afraid to show themselves? Is it that you do not want to let others see you too can feel very small at times? Fuck that shit.

Life and especially the working part of it and the financial side of it is far up at a too high gear. It is all fucking politics and finances these days. The individual is a bolt, a screw in a large piece of machinery, and if it does not last you simply replace that bolt, that screw and you do it without a blink of an eye. It is like that. Boil everything down to the level of individual respect and the book has only blank pages. It is that sad in these modern-day times.

Oh, dear. Letting off steam this morning.

On a motley level and that is what this is all about for me. I certainly have my tasks lined up for me in the coming months. I should say the remaining time of year actually. A lot is going on and it surely does not go hand in hand with my situation here at all. Time and income are far from what is needed to fulfill and complete what I have so long for having done.

Was turned to by a Canadian today that said have a good handful of picks from 2022 or 2023 you may not have. Interested? Stuff from the CREW of the tour is so interesting of cause. Then it came out there were also some other ones from the 2022 tour that normally sells for around 100 to 130 dollars each. I do not know why. I can not explain how that gets to be today's prices. But anyway, something will be dealt with on them. I think. There are so many things in the air now.

Hellfest, is going to release, in the near future, the Hellfest book like the Sweden Rock Festival did this year. Only this French one is a beast. 4,5 kilos. Insane. And then in October from somewhere a Shout box set for 25o US and a 30 dollars picture disc is being released. No idea from where or by whom. But it is coming it seems. AND if pre-orders are already to be done, I dare say this or these too will eventually sell out.

31^stof July 2023,

I have now seen the “60 Minutes” Australian TV show. Where to begin without a smile? Well, I can not really. I find it kind of sad and outrageous. It is kind of what I expected. A farce and repeat sending and a fairly clear proof of many said things in the last few years. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

I think Vince said it best as he said “We have toured stadiums now for a good couple of years and I like it. Obviously. Greed, huge daily incomes. And it is not like the man is working much for it either.

No, I was certainly not surprised not by sayings, not by news (as there were non) and it felt like the attitude and “we do not care” lives almost stronger than ever. I think it is .. maybe I should not say that out loud. So, I do want to keep certain thoughts to myself. And I do just seal those thoughts and emotions in an emotional box within myself. Ohh boy yeah, that show did not do much for me to be honest. With that said I wish you all a good night.

30^thof July 2023,

Okay. Well ….

MÖTLEY CRÜE's NIKKI SIXX: 'We're In The 'We-Don't-Give-A-F***' Phase Of Our Career'

Members of DEF LEPPARD and MÖTLEY CRÜE recently sat down with Tara Brown of Australia's "60 Minutes" to discuss life in the fast lane and their current joint world tour. You can watch the 14-minute segment below.

Both DEF LEPPARD and MÖTLEY CRÜE said that there are no plans for them to slow down anytime soon. "No, god. I'm not even legally at retirement age, so it's not even on the horizon for me," DEF LEPPARD frontman Joe Elliott said. "But no, [retirement's] never crossed my mind. Because we enjoy doing what we do. We always have. Long may it last."

The guys from MÖTLEY CRÜE are in firm agreement, still raising their middle fingers to the world.

"I feel like our [middle] finger is about to go higher," bassist Nikki Sixxsaid. "I think we're kind of in the 'we-don't-give-a-fuck' phase of our career."

MÖTLEY CRÜE's setlist for the 2023"The World Tour"has remained very similar to the one from last year's "The Stadium Tour", with "Wild Side" opening the show before Sixx and his bandmates run through a 15-song set that includes other classics like"Shout At The Devil", "Home Sweet Home", "Dr. Feelgood" and the closing number "Kickstart My Heart".

Last month, MÖTLEY CRÜE singer Vince Neil confirmed to The Music Universe that the band will embark on another stadium tour in 2024. "We're not sure who's gonna be on it, but there'll be another tour," he said.

MÖTLEY CRÜE recently went into the studio with longtime producer Bob Rock and recorded three new songs, including "Dogs Of War" and a cover of BEASTIE BOYS' "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)". CRÜE and LEPPARD kicked off the European leg of their "The World Tour" on May 22 in Sheffield. The European trek concluded on July 6 in Glasgow.

LEPPARD and CRÜE will team up with Alice Cooper for a U.S. mini-tour this summer. The trek will kick off on August 5 in Syracuse, New York and include stops in the Midwest before concluding in El Paso, Texas on August 18. Shows in Japan and Australia will follow in the fall.

John 5 joined MÖTLEY CRÜE last fall as the replacement for the band's co-founding guitarist Mick Mars. Mick announced his retirement from touring with MÖTLEY CRÜE last October as a result of worsening health issues. Mars suffers from Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS) ,a chronic and inflammatory form of arthritis that mainly affects the spine and pelvis.

After years of performing through the pain, he informed the other members of MÖTLEY CRÜE last summer that he could no longer tour with them but would still be open to recording new music or performing at residencies that did not require much travel.

When Mars announced his retirement from touring with MÖTLEY CRÜE, he maintained that he would remain a member of the band, with John 5 taking his place on the road. However, in early April the 71-year-old musician filed a lawsuit against CRÜEin Los Angeles County's Superior Court claiming that, after his announcement, the rest of CRÜE tried to remove him as a significant stakeholder in the group's corporation and business holdings via a shareholders' meeting.

Not exactly news anymore, but okay there is an Australian TV thing coming up. 60 Minutes. Could be kind of interesting to see sometime. However, I would not believe all that is said. That is normally what this band delivers. I do find it even irrelevant at this point if it was not for the fact all they do and say now is going to be a part a chapter or two of what I love the most about this fruitcake of a band. The story of…. Well, obviously part from the music.

Let us see how it all falls out. This is hard financial times for me and it is at the same time also extremely easy to find things cause people are selling a lot now a days. Not that I personally question anybody why. But more as off unable to do too much – it sucks balls. I do really hate it.

29^thof July 2023,

Wau, my personal life is some sort of a mess. I really hate my job but face the reality with society rules and company preferences for and about new employees. Facing the music, I guess we can call it. Fuck this shit. But every now and then I seem to find a smile and a hope for bettering myself when it comes to balance in own body and all that.

Yesterday I received the package from my CZ friend. New and old magazines and books. Plus, the event poster of Prague 2023. Not often seeing these posters any more sadly. But now it is here in the house and I dare say I am really pleased to have this. Things with my friend and a few other individuals are really making me happy about the collecting part. There have been times as all knows about me, where I have pretty much had one food in the regular world and stopped collecting all together. But …. Resurrecting the collecting part has been giving new life. And ones again several of my demons have been dealt with and put to sleep.

Also talked to another friend today about stuff from a shared friend of ours whom is no longer around. And I have to say I am both curious, hopeful and completely shocked about some things told. How certain people seems to measure the value and more detailed something’s about Motley material. OH my god. More to go online tomorrow – good night.

24^thof July 2023,

Okay yeah well, it begins to be quite an interesting crazy reality we live in.

Lots of blame, chaos, disappointments, hugh prices etc for, about and around our favorite band.

Two things I saw today. First off Vince Neil:

“It’s a nice feeling, that so many people want us to get back together. Because we basically broke up five years ago — we basically called it quits and said that it was a good run, it was a lot of fun, okay, we’re done. So I continued to tour with my solo band up until COVID, and now I’ve had basically almost a year off because of not being able to tour with my solo band.

”Cause everything got shut down —everything. But it looks like it’s loosening back up. I have a couple of solo shows coming up in the next couple of months. It’s gonna be fun just to get back and sing a little bit. I’ve never gone this long without performing or singing in my entire life, since I was 16. So it’ll be fun to just get back out there.

“A lot of people were pretty bummed out when we decided to retire, basically. The excitement around the tour has just been pretty amazing. We have fans that maybe we didn’t know we had.

Neil is rumoured to be stressed or annoyed about his lack of capability to sing anymore. But some articles have taken that rumour into the twist of him changing focus to the massive positive feedback they claim to have had from reunited for touring.

I just wonder if I should put any truth into this, is it then that they see positive in the 10s of thousands of sold tickets and those facts? Cause the reviews have basically and solidly been shit. I do no know – however I do get it that they kind of say any publicity is good. Shitty reviews are still press for free and tickets are already sold no matter what.

The second thing is a friend of mine – he turned to me and said another friend has stopped collecting completely and is starting to get rid of his stuff. I was not too shocked with this fact. That I had seen coming a while. But he like me – had been struggling with various demons around the collecting part for a long time. Now I hear he lost his own battle.

I am still in it for reason that are honest enough for me to say it is right to continue some more. I have just killed my touring side of things because they are for sure not worth it, I do not think. It is a matter of taste and the 2023 image of the live version of the band is completely killing my memories and how I see and how I want this band – this particular band – to be and sound if they should still be active. And we are far from it sadly.

18th of July 2023,

It was a tough Crue life for me yesterday – personal fighting (verbally) about my collecting with an everyday special and close person to me. I cannot stand that people are trying to get me to explain every step I do in my collecting world or what and how much time is spent on it or what comes in added to the collection itself.

This is the passionate part of living that is my life. No one’s business. No one should take away what is my soul and heart here. I NEVER ask that myself about anyone as I KNOW it is the solid one thing that is absolutely of the highest importance to maintain joy, love, and emotional balance in one’s life. Do not demand of me either.

This is my passion – my heart, my pulse.

When these arguments happen, I die a little bit. It is what I have left of a long life, and I do not get to look forward to too much other anymore. That passion is not to be questioned or touched till it leaves my body of its own free will. As I lose interest in this it dies. That is the natural side of all this. But till that happens I am asking everyone to back off from this.

Totally went into myself and searched for a refreshment and a check up on my inner self.

I discovered or rather I was re confirmed that I for sure live from passion. I live from what speaks to me and I have always, as I still need it to be, to listen to that Center piece in me. That is what oils the motor. Not what others think. What others want or what the society requires of me. I do not have any kind of label of positivity to hang on that at all. It may come out and sound a bit selfish. But trust me then it is you that has an issue you need to work on. I do not mean to not give a crap bout other people like that. At all.

17^thof July 2023,

The metal Den shares news on the Creed singer Stapp and talks about him stepping in for Vince Neil. If all this is really the case then Nikki has found a way to keep the money coming in and keep the tickets selling. What a shitty and washed-out thing to do. No respect in my book.

However, the story goes – the band can not be without Vince Neil no matter the lack of quality. So what they will do is use is to use Stapp as a strong voice on the upcoming album and partly strong up the live vocals on tour so that it sounds great. But to keep the tickets selling they have a physical Neil on stage still to do lip-sync.

It begins to turn into the best Milli Vanilli stuff for 2023-24.

It really mind-boggles me how the fuck fans can be okay with this. How people are willing to pay tons and tons of money to actually go see them. Modern-day technology twists Stapp’s voice into a Neil 80s version so easy these days. Lots of this have partly been what the band has denied but the ex-guitarist Mick Mars and many industry and metal pages have come across and had in their “news” sections of the day.

Personally, I am extremely disappointed that the band and fans are willing to accept this type of doing. Any artist larger than a pub performing name should be ONLY doing the best they can and have respect for the fans that put them there. Step down once it is no longer fitting. This is greed accepted by the fans of this band. I must say I am speechless.

Vince not singing, Mars is not there, Nikki has a producer as a ghost bass player, which leaves Tommy and John for an album. I really do not know what to say or think anymore.

But for sure it is an interesting story that just is too interesting to follow. A world gathering of fans to say and demand honesty and changes or a permanent STOP … oh my god – that will never happen. Whom am I kidding?

Last night did not see a site work in progress, but rather a time out completely to watch a movie and just be. It was a nice and needed calm evening. Now I am up again for a 5-day nightmare to arrive with the work I am having these days. I absolutely hate it.

16^thof July 2023,

A bit on my toes today. Got a note from my friend in another European country that said he has gotten some local new editions I do not have of some different books and some magazines. It is all in the mail and I am somewhat excited for sure.

I have not been the best today with the Sunday otherwise. Why not? The fucking job I have now is truly eating me up from the inside. Bad job. Bad pay. Lies. Lack of listening from the top. Turning all employees into a number losing our names. Robotic mas productions statistics and crap. Everything I am so against. I am absolutely not okay with this, and my mind and body react to it. I get bad feelings and signs of illness throughout the week.

I more than need to get more time in on what I love and hold a passion for that is for sure. This is eating me up in a way that in the long run is nowhere near good for me – whatsoever.

Did pick up a Scottish newspaper thought holding not less than a three paged article in it. From this year 2023. Pray for a solid and good night sleep soon.

14^thof July 2023,

Went through a lot about the passion of Crue last night in my head. It was for sure an interesting something. And I realize more and more that if I can overcome some detailed stuff within myself I would possibly be able to do new and other things that could be fun for sure and different than just collecting. I am told my voice and my stories and alternative and unique look on the collecting thing and the band is what is my strength.

I need to use my voice and share it somehow not keeping it to myself to only focus on the items and collecting things. There are so many things to have as possible activities with this. And clearly, it only needs a few willing details. Learn to use some different IT programs etc. Invest in a microphone and camera for the computer and find some people that would really like to do something like a pod. Or set up something that can be payable and joinable. Or… there are many different things that can be done actually.

I just seem to easily be swallowed by the fact that I am not happy at work as that is where I am most of my awakening life. Sadly that is a fact. I used to look at this part of life differently but looking back I know that was also at a time when I solidly had to focus on other things which very much was travelling. I worked with – no matter what – to save up for trips and doings and that was where my focus was.

I lost that, lost myself, and now it is more like what the hell is it I have apart from a solid massive collection? Seriously. I never do anything other than work, daily doings, and staying put at home. Cause I chose to NOT travel for Crue no more. I simply had nothing else it seems. I had a “richer” life previously in ways at least that made me happier. That is a horrible feeling and I need to get back to that. If not traveling, then hey… maybe something new. Like the mentioned above. And If I do not rely on others enough to do some sort of partnership then find the hidden solutions to own doings a self-sat ownership of an idea.

Expanded the collection yesterday. In the mail were magazines and articles, photos, and tickets. It shall be updated this weekend as well. I am truly in a state of curiosity to do things and learn more about the internet and others. Try to open doors to new stuff as said. I need it to survive since the income is not allowing me to do what I loved before. Something has to happen. Happy Friday **

12^thof July 2023,

Happy birthday baby brother. Today is – your day. I really hope you are getting an okay day in spite of it being in the middle of the week. I know you have what I used to long for. An event to go to. It is soon Crashdiet time for you again. This month actually. I have a GREAT LOT to get done and go through. And it shall be fun. Right now, I am awaiting stuff from some friends and it really feels like it is a pure blessing for me to have these friendly individuals in my life. You have no idea how blessed I feel having them.

I know it is not normal to have this but some people that have known me forever it feels like or have followed the site and my collecting are all very special and friendly and supportive in ways most have not heard of. Like my own girlfriend. She simply does not believe me that I get these things from them for nothing. But that is just how it is.

I need to get all my old 8x10s sorted too and have that under full control.

Used to have control but then as the last 5 years have passed by I have simply due to my bad emotional state, just thrown them all in the binders. Not in detail sorted them all year for year or record for record. That has to be done. As that part of the collection is growing in a way too where I have no idea if I have a specific print or not anymore. The absolute worst feeling I personally can have as a collector. Do I have it and where are things?

Not good in any way.

Other than that and a future awaited load (I am sure) not much to report here actually. Time available outside daily duties is slim. And it limits everything while life slowly just passes by, and quality time and possibilities turn into wishful thinking instead of being planned for something for the near future. Sad. So fucking sad.

11^thof July 2023,

So, soon mid-July. It is crazy. I have started to look in on the old diary postings and want to take some time to bring them all onto this new site. It takes time and it is a bit crap as the program I work with is not the super coolest but eventually, I guess. Some are now already there. So, I am back soon with all these “newer” postings. Many years with no postings at all, due to me not being okay with how I felt and how it has been for me with this band.

I think things are on a completely different level than what it used to be with my Crue living and collecting. I watched the Sweden Rock performance from this year the other day and I so much more and much more clearly understand why I do not think the band is worth my money anymore as a band I would pay to go see.

It is sad, of course, it is. This as said a million times was my life for decades.

But it has turned into a sad and absolutely non-trustworthy thing to me. However, the story, the twists, and the music is still interesting to me. So the collecting continues for some time more.

Several 2023 sections and 2022 have been updated and it turns out a lot of things are covered on a far larger scale than thought possible. It is with extreme respect that I click on and go through these pages and visually see these items being in hand. No, this band had its last prime in 2005 no question about it. And before that, I would say 1991. So you do your own calculation on how it has looked the last 20 to 30 years of their now 42 years of existence.

Ha, ha, ha, ha I can just see people in front of me with that written statement or opinion if you will. “How the hell can you call yourself a fan” -well, we all see things differently. I am not praising a favorite band just because. They were never the best musicians ever, but they were a favorite band and that is something completely different. And my favorite has not always been great. FAR FROM IT. However, I do see things with quite an honest look, I think. And this is what that looks like speaking of Motley Crue.

There is every now and then still a certain excitement about things to come to this address. I think that IS TO ME THE HONEST PROOF of me still doing this for the right reasons and not just seeing myself keep going just because it is now what I could call an old habit. It has always been there so I might as well… No, it must be honest or not at all.

Talked to my old friend at a photography agency in the UK he said he had something for me, and it is on its way. Prints, I am sure. Looking forward to receiving whatever comes. He has been dealing with this for decades and really is a guy that is a goldmine when it comes to prints.

So the band (the original) ended up closing this in a bad way.

And there now is another chapter to be written about it till the day one of them dies. I think it could be either Mars, or Neil. And then what? Yeah, then what?

Another conversation with an old insider has been going on as well. He claims things with this 2022 returning to the stage and the 2023 John 5 takeover was attempted from a personal interest in a final cashing in. And the way they would do it was to do it the easiest way possible.

I guess that is why there is so much talk about the prerecorded stuff on this tour. That is why there is also a list of things and details that have really become sensitive topics to old-school fans of the band and some have jumped off of the ride calling it quits. Which I totally understand. I have partly done that myself by not touring any longer.

Yeah, for sure interesting times. Interesting with irritations and disappointments.

That one is for sure. Now I as an individual just need to find my love for life again. Too many detailed things are for sure wearing me down. Saddens me major. Never felt this way so intensely.

3^rdof July 2023,

Birthday weekend is now over – my age, well my age in its own way has started to worry me. I am getting old. I feel old. It sounds so damn sad and unbelievable really. But I do. It is a shitty seriously shitty unstable stressful living generally speaking. But the weekend has been with a good mind, and a happy mind. Some great times.

On the Motley Crue level, I have had a blast. Not been touring not been doing what I normally would have been. Touring could even have seen the band on my birthday but no. I got a load of Crue stuff though. Unreal. Al is going to be added and sorted these days. It has been overwhelming to see and to do so I am truly grateful in its own way for just that.

The collection is surely expanded and has covered 2022 and 2023 really well.

There has not been much hope for this to be happening. But it was no thanks to me much though.

There is just a pleased Tommy in all of this. I am still not at all psyched about repeating my old days. Touring the roads thin again. Not at all. I have no wish for that anymore. It is simply not too cool. Not too pretty anymore.

The collecting though and seeing the circus and tragic happenings that are all around is another thing. I have personally even passed the part where it massively has hurt my Crue heart. It has sadly become an acceptance of “that is just how it is with this band. Nowadays it has become more of a dollar sign than it has ever been. And that is tragic.”

There is still stuff to be liked to add but it is harder and harder now a days and not only financially.

The band have given all the UK fans a hell of a week and it is for sure great for the ones wanted to attend. No question. I was there once. But it is not an ongoing activity as said – for me. Touring days are over. I truly do think looking at videos and now having seen a show the magic Is gone .it is all a ride on memories and great times from the past.

30^thof June 2023,

Wau yeah well – it sure looks like the band is as popular as ever if not more. Depending on what you base your popularity on. But it is going to be some tough years ahead for merch following and it is going to be quite a mess and struggle to make any of it happen. I simply have to let that headache lie.

There have been so many added items in the last few months I am stunned. It has also been a mixed ride emotionally. I really do think there are things that can make this Motley life of mine get a little shake a few more times before it is over for me. As a collector at least. I really just wish I could have more on going with it. In the sense of not just collecting but doing things with it. But there are so many details that stand in the way of it. This saddens me a great deal. But there honestly is not much I can do about it here and now.

This is the last day of June and the last day as a 56-year-old. It frightens me. I am in such a bad place, and I am so not easy to just believe in things anymore. There is not much I believe in from here on out that I can do much about. Nothing is any longer given. It is a fight for the remaining part of the road now.

I so would love to say I might be wrong, but I sadly do not see it. More tempted to say I lived this far and can honestly say things are getting harder the older you are. You do have to shape your older years and retirement in your 20s and 30s. Or at least 30s and 40s. This weekend will be a lot of looking into fixing and updating etc. It truly will. Anyhow right now – it’s time for work.

14^thOf June 2023,

Copenhell Festival – no not me. My brother is attending. Said he will cover the few – very few items available as festival merch with the bands’ names on it. It is a strange and full day with doings and all. Yesterday came another 9.8 kilos box from my friend in Japan. He had found old magazines again with Crue in them. Some of them I had already but damn it a lot of new Added old magazines after all.

So while my brother is at the festival to see Motley Crue and Def Leppard I am sorting scanning and photographing stuff here. I need to be very much on top of what has to do with that for the website version of the collection. It is already a lot that is not easy to keep track of what has been handled and what has not. But I need full and complete focus. '

It feels good still to collect. I am not the same fan anymore. Focus has changed as mentioned quite a few times in these diary postings. However, I must be honest with myself first and foremost.

Now there are so many things to add here already I should say bout 250 to 300 pictures. And there are more in the waiting as I understand it. I can only imagine if I had been able to buy all still, I would have gotten shit loads more. But things and times have changed for sure.

Hope my brother and his friend will have a fun time. I sit back here in northern Sweden doing my own thing. Later diary!!!

PS: final call from my brother after Crue was done. ALL except 1 poster was covered for the Europe 2023 tour. They did not have it. All other and the Copenhell festival program if we should call it that and the four festival shirts that had the band names on them – safe and in hand. He also got Sixx picks and some other small stuff.

What a day. Friday, I guess comes two more test press bootlegs and the remaining Euro tour merch to the doorstep. All cleared. Great. 2022 and 2023 are as good as covered even though I did not attend. How about that? Lucky me. Goodnight.

10^thof June 2023,

So – no I never would have thought – I was to be witnessing another Crue show. Sweden Rock festival June 7^th2023, I did. I had absolutely no expectations. I was not even too eager to go. I really have had a bad year of...no, I rephrase that some bad years with disappointments now.

I do not like nor seem to accept all I have commented on it these diaries the last many years. I sadly do have a hard time to be “a-okay” with how things have unfolded since 2017. But should I skip a good few lines, and not repeat myself with the list of the “why” and “because of” then I can share this instead.

The day of the event – no let me go back a day or two. Monday the 5^thof June, we started our trip down there to the south of Sweden. With a little bit of concern and a little bit of worry about what I was about to get myself into. It was a mixed something from me now again being unemployed and not being able to find my ways to a new and functional result of answer to my many questions. Both the ones about the practical stuff ala monthly bills and the collecting. Or saving for stuff I really like to get done.

On the other hand, it was also a concern for seeing the band that I have given my absolute everything for. I felt it was the kind of feeling with no name. An unawareness only time there and then as it happened could tell me about and give me a hint of how I felt standing there.

As the time closed in on Wednesday evening a lot was galloping through my brain. I always reflect on things that I can not seem to make others understand. I might be mentally disturbed like that or simply a little bit too deep in on my own passions and emotions to be able to explain them in a way the masses would register. I simply do not see it. I have tried for decades. That is why I still to this day claim I am the most misunderstood person I have ever known.

Anyway, the band before them on stage has a long history of meaningful stops and doings in my life as well. Def Leppard. The early 80s with the first two albums and Hysteria tour in 1987. It is another long story, but it is important to me. On this day 20223 June, they did a great job. Missed a few of the old ones but hey what can they do? What can I do?

All in all memories and flashbacks came over me as I enjoyed the happy elderly men on stage delivering the set they had chosen. I liked it. I said afterward – to myself – they were good. Not much running crazy anymore but I am not expecting either. Good tight songs and a joyful 90 minutes altogether.

The time was ticking and then it was. It was here - what never was expected. The 167^thshow. I am both irritated and angry at the same time. And deep, deep behind all of that, just happy for the Christmas gift of the ticket I got and was able to witness this with my own eyes now after a full year of reviews and rumours.

“Wild Side” started the game – no drum solo and no pyro. Okay that I knew but it was milestones in any Crue shows since the beginning of the 80s, so it was a bit weird. I have never argued with their lights and other bombastic stuff it has for years been a beautiful setup. This is no different. But several things make no sense to me. And then the absolutely obvious use of the latest sound technic, pre-recorded stuff that is so super easy to see and hear.

No, I personally feel it ruins the sweetness and it takes away a lot of the magic of how I used to see this act. I hold a lot of things dearly to heart still to this day but live they lost me. And the fact of me being pissed off from the so-called 2015 FINAL TOUR – that will eventually disappear. I can not be angry forever about it. Let us put it like this I choose to change focus.

I found myself several times shaking my head saying, “This is not cool. This is not good. This is exactly why my longing for traveling after these guys are lost”. I will admit though that when they did the song I got hooked on this ride from “Looks That Kill” I did get somewhat emotional. It is not a sad song or a beautiful ballade, but it is the heart tattoo with their name on it that started it for me. Again, like through the set of Def Leppard - flashbacks and shit.

I did react there and then but that would maybe also be weird if I had not. I am not, care about this band. Then I would not have collected anymore. It is the list of the so often said and posted details that make me not do that anymore.

I had also decided to film this and just take a chance on it. I stood far back but in a fairly okay position if zooming. It was far, far, far from greatly filmed but I did my best from the many people in front of me and the emotional state I was in. Have not seen it yet but I know I have a good few shots of it no matter what. I also remember I draw the conclusion as it ended – no I am still done traveling or aiming for traveling after them. Collecting yes. But fuck me this has really gone through the roof. One shirt 500 SEK. Round the 50 dollars mark. FOR ONE!!

Thanks to my brother and other kind souls and long passionate honest friendships I have managed to get a lot of the 2022-2023 stuff. And it is for sure not getting easier when touring myself. But the site is building up page for page section for section.

Seems like all of my Crue friends that went to the same show and festival are totally disagreeing with me. They felt greatly entertained and satisfied. Hmm, yeah well I said it all along we have very different views on things them and me. And I will never be understood much I am starting to realize and be okay with living with that.

29^thof May 2023,

Been gone a few days now. Too little time to sit here and just focus on the collection.

Have been in Denmark since last writing and brought home a good few pieces, to the collection. They are now scanned and photographed. There is no time at all to work on the site though, not till after the 15^thof June. Then more stuff is coming as well. Then Sweden Rock and Copenhell is over with as well. And stuff is hopefully secured from them festivals as well.

It really feels weird that I am no longer touring and doing the things I used to. But I honestly do not miss it. Not with this band. The magic days and times are over for a long time for me when it comes to thinking of them live and me touring and traveling my ass off. It is long past and over with in my life.

There are new records, DVDs, CDs, posters, with laminates picks and what not to be added on the site again. Many articles, magazine covers etc. etc. My old first passion of E. Presley – my old friend Villi and his family had packed a few things for me from Villi passing some CDs and vinyls etc for me to have and take home. It is with deep emotions I take these and take care of them for life.

I miss him. We used to have so many good Elvis talks and it is already more than a year since he left us. Just wanted to add a little about it here even though it is not having anything to do with Presley nor the friendship to this man this website of mine. Presley is still a very important artist to me. I said it 30 years ago still do “I am sure he will be with me for life.

Motley Crue is not a band I ever thought I would say I am done with on a touring matter but I am. I am sad to say it was better and had a blast in the past I do not, have with them as a LIVE ACT ANYMORE. I realize I have written this a lot on these pages. But I honestly feel like it is the main detail of my collecting these days. And it feels like it is hard to just ignore. I respect but lose a little something for other fans that still look at them and feel just happy being able to see them from time to time.

13^thof May 2023,

Expanded my collection of 8x10s now. Another 100 shots added to this is amazing. There are so many prints I like to get added but a few connections have been dropped since they do not work with the agencies anymore now. So I am down to a few and it is not a cheap detail to have your eyes and mind focused on. But it is great. I bet the next load to aim for comes end July as many from the coming European tour starting next week will be taken by the agency I have connection with.

Sadly the best things in the world – well for me – are hard to find and quiet expensive. And as said it is long over for me to throw a ton of money on the band and the collection. I am no longer in that world financially or by interest. I have not any longer that interest as things have taken a turn as well as have I as an individual. What for me was magic is gone. Now it is something else completely.

6^thof May 2023,

Saturday and a lot of thoughts. Trying to find time and focus to get in on some more boxes here. And also get some focus on MY LIFE as a worker and social doings. I know I need to get through it all and I need to simply be solid on my decisions. I can not be loose about setting time off and then do something else instead. I will never get it done. I need to simply hang on to my thoughts and sat plans for these things. It is important. There is a lot of expected fights to go through. And that is just sad. But it is there to be wrestled. Sadly. I must do these things.

An old 1984 scarf Monsters Of Rock Stockholm was re-found and a laminate 2003 Neil solo tour from mixed stuff in the lot. There are so many things to get through and so many NEW pictures to be taken for the site online. A quicker activity or more activity surely needs to get into gear or the cost of having it is just not worth it much longer.

20^thof April 2023,

Not fully there but inspiration on a new view of the town I am in – well not the town but my life in it… new inspiration in form of friends that invites me to see things in a new perspective. It is a process, a brainstorming that is about to be the new way forward I think for me as an individual here. I need to be taking myself through that process. And I need to be that self-sat inspiration to my own self for a better and loved self instead of all the pain I have been going through here. I am truly looking forward to see what and where this takes me.

In a collecting sense, I have seen things come in again. Posters, magazines, shirts, and so on. There is a constant flow it seems like. But there are now photos of the 8x10 section on their way from my friend Paul in the UK. These are a few oldies and then some from the 2022 23 tours. Feels a bit weird but yet interesting to get added.

It is not an active tour activity on my part and won’t ever be again. But it is like a newly started book or at least a chapter in the line of my collecting and it is a strange sort of unaccepted one too. Now they try to tell us (the band) they are in the studio to record new music. Hmm, well okay again .. not too pleased with this news but I accept it.

10th of April 2023,

What can I say? -it has been three hard weeks. Mostly due to a lost pet. Very dear to us and taken from us completely unexpectedly. There are things in there, in that little soul that simply touched us deeper than anything.

Now it is another weird situation that kills my heart. The lawsuit from Mick Mars against the band. I know a lot about the band and what they have done and gone through that is not really to my liking. And that continues to be my reason for not touring and that the book for that is closed. The collecting is showing me new sides and as long as the love and passion for that is real I will continue to do so.

10th of March 2023,

Friday!! Got a mail saying – “Tommy I got you a shirt and the city poster want to trade”.

How sweet, nice. I am truly lucky to have some people that actually are like this. Nice. Thank you.

7^thof march 2023,

Desperation? At times yes. It is a constant battle inside of me to find a balance, but I do not really want to write much more about it. I really want to try to have something positive to aim for and to look in on. To have a focus on general. I do feel the fact of the job and getting the information on expanding the contract is important. But at the same time, it still is not the best of solution either.

We are all working as temporarily hung tools. We know even if we get a new contract this week – for 6 or 12 months we still know the time and the date of when we are unemployed again. It is a heavy thought for me. Heavy burden in my head. And I seem to never get to relax about it. The constant ongoing “fight” with my Lisa too about things. Especially … not going to go there. It is enough that it is like that in life outside of work.

When it comes to my life as collecting – things are slowly being sorted. The few piles and boxes that are left are being looked into. And the last few things are sorted and put in the right place after scans and photos are taken if missed on the site. Yeah, I really need these small piles to get done with. To get them out of the way knowing I have them looked at and put in the right place.

That is something I now for the third year in a row want to get done in this house. I need to be willing to let the arguments take their place with Lisa on what I need. And just do it. I know it resolves in tough and bad outbursts, but it speaks for itself. Three years after moving in I have yet not gotten the time to do this and get to put an end to it.

I always ignore my need to take that time to do this because I want to avoid verbal fights about what she seems okay with and what not. Very hard to find calmness and all when it is like this. I need to not ignore myself like this. This is what makes me stressed as well. This got to be a quite heavy negative posting, but I need to get it out. When I cannot talk about it in this house then it simply has to be in writing.

Today came the news. Sucks. We are having two months left and then unemployed. Again.

6th of March 2023,

Weekend over – I feel somewhat beside myself today. Ass tired and stomach pain. Annoying. But it is a good week at work. Early beginnings and early endings. This is to my liking. But I am going to bed no later than 9 pm tonight. Feel like I need it.

Hopefully today we get to have the information about the SAS contract. It is just a bit of a stressful detail in life. Or detail is the wrong word. It is a massively important thing to make things go around. We will see in a good 90 minutes.

Picked up a large magazine box yesterday from my friend in CZ. Several new old Motley articles now and he is about to get me 3 CZ versions of Crue books. Next month. It is awesome with friends like this. I treasure him a lot.

I think I also found a good chat in Mark the 1981 – 83 Crue roadie from California. He is not sitting with the best of luck at 65. Brain surgery soon. Been sick and more than out of balance all last year. Did not know it. But man, some stories he has. He seems to be writing on a book type of thing. But I bet it will never come out due to legal things around the band. The management etc will protect the MC gang and details of their history in ways unheard of before it gets out.

It is a sad thing with all that in America. I for one will send Mark a mail with a lot of questions this week to find some answers to questions I have.

3rd of March 2023,

Today is the day. The day of lowering my buddy to the ground. Mats Jönsson. I did not get to say the goodbye I wanted to you either. It is a failure inside of me and I struggle to accept it even though I was not prepared for this to be now. I simply did not prepare myself for that to be now.

People, artists, etc are one by one signing out. I am not ready. I must say my 50s are one long decade in grief. Sadness and sorrow. I do have a hard time doing this and being – okay – with it.

I miss Mats. I miss what we shared and could talk about. There was this non-defined thing. I so often, too often do not know what to do with myself. My life. My time. Goals have been a blur and somehow as always, I have tried to find comfort in my “passion cave” of Crue. I still collect so somehow it is still honest and it is still a meaningful thing to me even though it is no longer pure. It got poisoned along the way since 2017 I should say. And then 2020 really made a change with this poisoned arrow. Return to touring and more.

I have stuff coming to me and I have the stuff to be waiting for and that is most often always exciting. It is. But and yes, there is a but. I slowly now begin to have these four letters C R U E to also be a cancer type of thing. As I collect, I no longer have the life that brings in the cash that I need to be on the top following of collecting what is coming out. That is a bit of a stressful feeling too.

2^ndof March 2023,

Thursday – what I claim to be the best day of the week. Go figure.

Anyhow, I have a good almost opposite feeling than yesterday. What the fuck is it with me. So massively turbulent. I need and want to find myself some new things to do. That means I have to get out of this house. I have to see people. I have to regain how I WAS and sort of bury the newer me. I do not like him. Far too caged and tied up somehow. The Denmark visit is in place in May. Sadly during Lisa birthday but I need it. Mum needs it. I just cannot ignore that one thing either. I need to have this done.

I see there are so many ideas in my head but I am not grabbing them as I do not have the tools to get started. It sounds like an excuse but I have not been well. And I have not been at all near what I like to be for a long time. Drained, stressed, tired, sad isolated. I need that great fairly happy outgoing guy to be found again. Aim for things testing the waters around my project ideas not just letting them slip any further. I need to get some shots fired away. I might miss the target but at least I tried. I badly need it.

1^stof March 2023,

Really having a tough period these days with – most. Crue is not quite in place in my mind yet. Though still do not want to travel around for them. Not touring so to speak. But still a tough detail of my life to get in place. I still have not found that solution.

Work and finances are killing me. No rest no balance. No enjoyment. I am moving towards the fact of my life that I am not going to fix things to the better on a job and income. It is what it is right now and only gets worse. Fucked. No good feeling nor frame to get me to the next level.

21^stof February 2023,

So my very good contact and friend Torigoe, Japan send me a package I got yesterday. Absolutely mind-blowing. A Japan tour smashed the bass part, with strings and strap still. Just as a gift.

How is it even possible that there are people out there that does this? I am telling you I can count on one hand how many people are NOT in it for the money but for the admiration of other people’s passion for something. Very thankful. Also got the new box set of CDs and vinyl box versions of the Crucial Crue five first albums.

19^thof February 2023,

It is 02.16 AM I need to go to bed. I have had a lot of shitty days this week. Been sick and at a Dr. check at the hospital. Things are fairly good but for sure not top dollar. I need to get results next week and then we see what it all says.

I have gotten the first “new Crue LINEUP shirt in order today. Hmm.. a comic or cartoonish type of white shirt. The first was with John 5 but it needed to get in as a part of the collection. Really did.

Let us see how all going to go this year. The fun yet tough and tragic part is that there are going to be city posters again it seems. The first and second are already out there. The first one in Atlanta was covered. But not yesterday’s gig in Mexico. I choose to simply NOT worry about it. See what will be a reality as we get into March and April …. So many details to 2023 to be revealed.

17th of February 2023,

On Tuesday I had news again – my ex- Tine has died. Not the most contact for a long time but she was still not even 50. Again. It is just something these months with people I know of they disappear like ended their lives. I do not know what to really say it messes with my head. And it leaves a worried. I am scared of getting my own evenings to be the last. One just does not fucking know now do we?

I must say my 50s so far have been a hell of a concerning and worrying endless decade. I am really not good with it and I know things are natural we get older and it sometimes comes to us unexpectedly. But still. I worry. And I do not feel good about the 50s (age-wise) at all.

I have to put down some positive and cool things with the pages I write. This week has gotten me adding to the collection. A 2023 tour poster of Def and Crue. Holds the European dates and all. Looks pretty cool.

Also from my old traveling partner Corinna in the USA, she mailed me Vince Neil Tatuado stuff, Displays, stickers, in-store signing flyers, and more I did not have as I was not there. She had gone to these and gotten (as usual) more out of it than a signed bottle. All of the above and probably more. Now it is here and it shall get added to the site these days too.

I miss her – the times we shared on the road were cool. She is now 110% out of the Crue life. She is sick and tired of it all, to say the least. Fake shit, bad band, and even more sad facts about how they are now. She is over it.

13^thof February 2023,

Sixx special and limited edition of his “The first 21” book came this weekend. Cool packing, I give them that.

Also, the intro of the replaced guitarist to Mick Mars was released this Friday and Saturday in Atlanta at the Hard Rock. First, two shows took place of this now-started world tour. Many say it was great. The energy and all were, just perfect. I saw two songs on YouTube from it and I am not impressed. 5 is awesome but he did not have to be in Crue to get that label on him He is awesome on guitar. But Vince sounds and looks like shit. He is done for no matter what anyone says.

I stick to my saying I am done there. I am not impressed that had I discovered this band this year or the year before I would never have started to collect them. That is about where and how I see them today.

A couple of guys went to these shows or one of them and one grabbed me some stuff from there. There were several shirts that had the Atlanta weekend dates on the back. The front prints are so like the stadium tour merch. So, it is not new. NO band shirt with the new line-up on it. I wonder if they dare not do that. Shall be interesting to see if they do the new ones after they get started for real. South America next.

8^thof February 2023,

I am a little shattered. I have too many thoughts about Mats and life. It stings in my chest. I am unfocused and I so would like to honour him in my own way – somehow. It is a time with a little too many scares and too many fears of not achieving things wanted. But then again, I am in a way also doubtful as to what it is I want to win over. It is simply a time I need to let myself be a bit out of it and a bit of a mess. It should be okay.

Yesterday Sweden Rock magazine released the news about a very special red version of the 1983 Shout album. Limited but exclusively. Well – they still love the band and they still like to get contribute to the band’s name it seems. On the other hand, it is a business they are a business. Not a bunch of music fans only. They do great with what they do. Interesting thoughts in modern-day times.

I have gotten some further with the website again. For sure there is to be a hell of a site in the end. Timer flies and I seem to be more and more fragile and scared of where life takes me because it sure as hell (right now) is not me taking life anywhere. It is the other way around.

30^thof January 2023,

My brother had a Saturday in Sweden this weekend. On his way back he got a message that he forwarded to me from the train. Mats is dead. He went to the Malmö hockey game came home and collapsed. Then he died. His girlfriend was home and tried to save him. But Mats is gone. A Crue friend I have shared a lot with even younger than myself.

What to say? I am clearly surrounded by people that just slip away for all kinds of reasons and ages. It is a little scary. It really is. I am just torn and all kind of shaken up right now. I just need to get through this week. And I need to take my own wishes and myself a bit more seriously. Mats why brother? I just do not know. You will for many reasons be missed. I try to honour you the best that I can.

On a day when Norway took its gold in ski shooting, Denmark took its world championship again and MODO hockey won its 3 points. As my girl Lisa said in sports this was an absolutely top day. But the shocking news about Mats – I do not know what else to say right now.

Thoughts about life and what is in it really take up my time.

27^thof January 2023,

Time – well a word and detail to life that has always given me some really diverse experiences. I am in lack of it actually and often. Right now on this Friday, I am however trying to get as much calmness in my head and heart as possible. This weekend is supposed to give me at least ONE day off. No cleaning, laundry etc. Saturday or Sunday I do not care – but I also need to really fix the mess here on the lower floor of the house since a new water tank etc has been installed. It is a mess.

Shall be really great to get it all back to how I want it to be.

Not much new to the collection either for a while now but the site www.mcrueloyalty.dk is being worked on slowly again. Added stuff and refined others. Having a few ideas to go even deeper into the sorting. Have noticed the poster section is missing some that I know I have, and since all posters are now just in one large pile I can not find a specific one easily. Back to that again and redo. Re-sort, and add. Such a drag. Too many things to go through all the time and then try to get it done is, well, yeah a drag.

23rd of January 2023,

Yes, it has been a while since I posted here. My Crue life is in major changes no doubt about it. Life is knocking on the doors to my inside. And I am going through what I have rarely gone through before. New and other types of emotions and reactions to what we call daily living. My reactions scare me. They are sort of not giving me much of a great feeling. I feel trapped in a way I do not recognize.

The sick rabbits. The decision from Lisa to put them down, when it happens. The latest death on the 12^thof January of Lisa Marie Presley. It is simply the end of something I grew up with in a way I probably should not have. But I do. I care too much to not be bothered. What a hard time it is. I find it so difficult to say it is just a part of life and it is just something we all take part in. And leave it at that. I seem deeper attached to these things than I seem to be able to make anyone understand.

On the Motley Crue side of things. Not much has come this month. Not much added and it actually feels really good. I am in strange need of a calm time with this too. I have grown with the pain, irritations, and disappointments that the band has been sharing for the last few years. I really have lost just a bit of it. The magic is certainly gone. It is now interesting in a totally different way. And I stick to my own made decisions of not seeing them again as in touring around the continent and abroad. Simply no longer a need. Nor a wish.

A few thoughts are constantly brewing in my skull.

03^rdof January 2023,

I have loved the holidays but the daily doings are back now. There is so a need to rest and just be. This week Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are such a time. Off from work. The work that I do not have much longer – maybe? I truly hope that I am wrong. I really hope that I am. But it is for sure a needed break this week.

The webpage for the collection is now paid for and covered for the new year and we have started it up again. Added all 2022 stuff in the last couple of days. Posters from the year that passed are now visual and almost in place rightfully. There are now shirts and articles to come. Lisa is still giving me a fairly hard time with it. I really wish it changed. It is the final and last thing I have since all touring is over for me. It is just sad and it is just hard time to hear too much bad about what I do and say. I have to say that.

The collecting in 2023 will not be easy even les be a fully covering year. Not happening. Too much other. The house is now what seems to be the new number one priority. It is now the one thing that gives a demand. A list of things are to be gone through and dealt with. But it is a need. It is a need that truly has to be addressed to keep the house rightfully intact and kept fresh.

I truly wish for a time and a year of no arguing, no fighting, and no stress. I begin to be near a NEED FOR A FULL YEAR of just that. My time here has been very demanding and very troubled. Not something I can say I have been happy about. Then obviously there have been massive loads of fun, great, and appreciated times and things. But I do need to be allowed to be me as well.

2^ndof January 2023,

Hello to a new year. Bye-bye 22. I have a rather difficult time turning the pages, but here we are. A new number a new year. I had a blessed Christmas and a rather great week after that too. I so hope to get that feeling to continue. It is really good for me.

I learned a few things about the band this week. It is absolutely not a band that is anything near honest or great no more. It is both a relief and a sad fact. Feels like… a steel heart wrapped all around me. I have been a prisoner since the day that I found you (the band).

Now slowly I get the fact of me being in charge and I am now in the driver’s seat. I have for years had trouble doing this. Trouble to accept the fact that this is the time when it is ME that is to set the rules. It all sounds weird I know. But that is what it feels like. And I am still solid on my decision NOT TO BE touring with them again. Only this one ticket for Sweden rock to get the merchandise. That is all I really want to do.